- 1). Wait for an appropriate time to reveal your news. Understand that your revelation might spark emotions in your ex-spouse, including jealousy, guilt or anger. It might be wise to wait until you've become more serious with your new partner before telling your ex-spouse about your relationship. Factoring in your ex-spouse's personality and current romantic situation can help you plan your big disclosure.
- 2). Arrange a private meeting with your spouse to let him know of your news firsthand. It can cause more confusion or hurt feelings if he's alerted to the news by someone else, or if he happens to run into you with your new partner. Choose a location that's free from distractions such as children.
- 3). Break the news with care. This is especially important if your ex-spouse still has lingering feelings for you, or if you want to keep an existing friendship alive. Be direct about the fact that you're dating, without revealing too many details. Remember that you're no longer married, so sharing details of your love life isn't necessary.
- 4). Refrain from throwing cheap shots. This includes raving about how much better your new partner treats you, or bragging about future romantic plans. Stay tactful, and remember that you might one day be uncomfortable if faced with the same news from your ex-spouse. Avoid turning your revelation into a reason for ill feelings or a way to exact revenge.
- 5). Allow your ex-spouse to express her feelings about your news, without responding with anger. Prepare yourself for a variety of responses, including probing questions, complete silence or relief. Handle yourself with dignity; doing so can promote constructive dialogue.
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