Often people suffering a break-up are left wondering what on earth went wrong.
One day, your loved one expresses their undying love for you and the next day all hell breaks loose or worse, they leave you hanging as if the relationship was a figment of your imagination.
In vain, you try to win their hearts back but honestly, you don't even know what the problem was in the first place.
So how do you even start fixing your relationship? First we have to find out the common mistakes that people blinded by the pain of the break-up often miss out.
Here are the top 2 relationship blunders that end in a break-up followed by a quick solution for each.
Chances are you are unknowingly guilty of at least one of these mistakes: Moving too fast too soon.
The first few weeks of a relationship are like magic.
It's as if you've found your soul mate and want to express your love for them by doing as much possible to show it.
It undoubtedly is fun and liberating to actually let go completely without imposing any restraints on yourself but like everything in life, excessiveness of something good is always a bad thing.
Unconsciously, your partner may start to lose interest in you as there is no more challenge left in the relationship.
Shifting from the challenging environment of the pursuing stage to absolutely no challenge after attaining the relationship is akin to pouring water over burning coals.
The flames die immediately and the shock is too overbearing.
Assuming you have already suffered the break-up, incessantly trying to fan the flames of love back alive will be futile.
You will have to start over and build a new fire.
Take a few days to yourself and aim to make yourself better than the person you are now.
Get some new clothes, tidy up the house, learn a quick new skill and go out with friends to socialize as well as make new friends.
These actions will help boost your morale and most importantly, you will seem like a slightly new person to your loved one when you decide on confronting her again.
You will look like a more polished person than the one that she broke up with.
This in itself will increase her interest in you and will increase the chance of you salvaging your relationship.
Not moving fast enough or not moving at all.
In contrast to the first blunder mentioned, this one happens as a result of inaction and usually occurs in relationships that have lasted quite a while.
The signs of inaction start with communication between the two of you dying down significantly.
You no longer call your loved one to find out what has been happening even after a week or two has passed and frankly, though you still are in love, it doesn't really bother you all that much.
You rationalize to yourself that your partner may need some space and time to do their own thing.
Far from it! They are probably wondering why the relationship has cooled down so much despite there not being any problems.
That is when they start rationalizing themselves that maybe there is something wrong with the relationship.
Every small shortcoming that the two of you have seen through before may be exaggerated to back up this rationalization.
They will think to themselves that perhaps the two of you were not meant to be.
It's a shame to see this happen in relationships because the reason for it occurring is pure laziness and complacency.
Again using the analogy of fire, you have to consistently fan the flames and add coal from time to time to keep it burning.
Think back to your own relationship and be honest about how hard you worked to keep it from a break-up.
Did you just let it die? It happens so don't feel bad about it.
To salvage the relationship after the break-up has already occurred, be honest to your loved one and apologize to them for not paying enough attention as of late.
Acknowledge the mistake, take the blame and then work on reigniting the spark that brought the two of you together in the first place.
The reason for your break-up is not so mysterious after all.
You don't have to sulk in your room anymore trying to crack your head figuring out what went wrong.
The reasons are usually simple enough and sometimes you may even know it deep within already but refuse to acknowledge the simplicity of the situation.
One day, your loved one expresses their undying love for you and the next day all hell breaks loose or worse, they leave you hanging as if the relationship was a figment of your imagination.
In vain, you try to win their hearts back but honestly, you don't even know what the problem was in the first place.
So how do you even start fixing your relationship? First we have to find out the common mistakes that people blinded by the pain of the break-up often miss out.
Here are the top 2 relationship blunders that end in a break-up followed by a quick solution for each.
Chances are you are unknowingly guilty of at least one of these mistakes: Moving too fast too soon.
The first few weeks of a relationship are like magic.
It's as if you've found your soul mate and want to express your love for them by doing as much possible to show it.
It undoubtedly is fun and liberating to actually let go completely without imposing any restraints on yourself but like everything in life, excessiveness of something good is always a bad thing.
Unconsciously, your partner may start to lose interest in you as there is no more challenge left in the relationship.
Shifting from the challenging environment of the pursuing stage to absolutely no challenge after attaining the relationship is akin to pouring water over burning coals.
The flames die immediately and the shock is too overbearing.
Assuming you have already suffered the break-up, incessantly trying to fan the flames of love back alive will be futile.
You will have to start over and build a new fire.
Take a few days to yourself and aim to make yourself better than the person you are now.
Get some new clothes, tidy up the house, learn a quick new skill and go out with friends to socialize as well as make new friends.
These actions will help boost your morale and most importantly, you will seem like a slightly new person to your loved one when you decide on confronting her again.
You will look like a more polished person than the one that she broke up with.
This in itself will increase her interest in you and will increase the chance of you salvaging your relationship.
Not moving fast enough or not moving at all.
In contrast to the first blunder mentioned, this one happens as a result of inaction and usually occurs in relationships that have lasted quite a while.
The signs of inaction start with communication between the two of you dying down significantly.
You no longer call your loved one to find out what has been happening even after a week or two has passed and frankly, though you still are in love, it doesn't really bother you all that much.
You rationalize to yourself that your partner may need some space and time to do their own thing.
Far from it! They are probably wondering why the relationship has cooled down so much despite there not being any problems.
That is when they start rationalizing themselves that maybe there is something wrong with the relationship.
Every small shortcoming that the two of you have seen through before may be exaggerated to back up this rationalization.
They will think to themselves that perhaps the two of you were not meant to be.
It's a shame to see this happen in relationships because the reason for it occurring is pure laziness and complacency.
Again using the analogy of fire, you have to consistently fan the flames and add coal from time to time to keep it burning.
Think back to your own relationship and be honest about how hard you worked to keep it from a break-up.
Did you just let it die? It happens so don't feel bad about it.
To salvage the relationship after the break-up has already occurred, be honest to your loved one and apologize to them for not paying enough attention as of late.
Acknowledge the mistake, take the blame and then work on reigniting the spark that brought the two of you together in the first place.
The reason for your break-up is not so mysterious after all.
You don't have to sulk in your room anymore trying to crack your head figuring out what went wrong.
The reasons are usually simple enough and sometimes you may even know it deep within already but refuse to acknowledge the simplicity of the situation.
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