Family & Relationships Conflict

Understanding a Troubled Relationship Can Save It

A troubled relationship is no laughing matter, but understanding what's happening can keep you less confused.
You might feel right now that there is no saving your relationship, that it's done; that you are no longer being true to yourself.
You might be feeling the stress daily of feigning interest in someone who you no longer feel you can trust.
Guilt and lies will corrode a relationship until it inevitably fades away.
There may have been a lot of love previously, but because of these corrosive feelings, you now are unsure of what step to take next.
Before you make a radical decision about your relationship, you have to take the time to quietly think about what you want out of a relationship like this one and what you won't accept.
This could be defined as your core relationship values.
You may not accept a cheater, being hurt, being ignored, etc.
You may want to grow as an adult, to further explore areas of your life that you hadn't previously.
Relationships can be great catalysts for this.
You may want romantic and spiritual stimulation, someone you can trust, someone who is your best friend and lover.
When you have a list of your desires, you should edit them to get a tighter list of what is truly important to you.
You can then compare this to your current relationship situation.
You will then be able to apply this to your partner and figure out if he or she is compatible with your desires or if he or she is holding you back.
They should obviously be contributing to the things that you want for yourself.
This is where communication is key.
If you figure out that your partner is incompatible with your wants and desires, then you should be able to take a step back and reconsider your situation.
This might involve separating for a period of time, as long as it takes to see things clearly.
I can say from experience that trying to figure these things out while living with a partner is way too stressful.
After you've been able to look over your situation with a clear head, you could come to the conclusion that you need to end the relationship.
Not every relationship has a fairytale ending.
Relationships teach us more about ourselves, what we expect from others and ourselves and how we can better our lives.
If on the other hand you find that with some work the two of you can get on the same page, then use this time to communicate your feelings and work toward your relationship goals.
Just because you have a troubled relationship right now doesn't mean that it has to end.
What it means is that you need to take the necessary steps to objectively view the situation and move the relationship forward to the next step, be it a more fulfilling partnership or a period of separation.
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