Are you dating a guy who can't get over his ex?Does he talk about her and the problems they had most of the time? Either personally, or through someone who is close to us, we have been through the ups and downs of relationship uncertainties.
The ex-factor is one of the most common issues that give people problems.
What do you do when you are out with someone and he cannot stop talking about his ex? *Guys have problems letting go of the ex.
Guys talk about their ex because they have not worked through the problems they had in that relationship.
They are still processing whatever they did and didn't learn from the past, and they have not brought it to a workable conclusion.
Some research shows that men have more problems letting go than women do.
*Talking about the ex is called baggage.
The ex-girlfriend problem with your new date stems from the fact that the past relationship turned out badly.
The feelings of guilt, anger, hurt, confusion, and blame have not been resolved.
As much as the relationship didn't work, he may still miss her.
He still needs to talk about it because he isn't over it, and has not found a way to work it through.
People bring their unresolved emotional issues into the present and deposit them by the trunk full right between them and the new person they are with.
*Talking about the ex puts distance between you and him.
Lots of guys are clueless.
They don't understand that it is inappropriate to vent about an old love interest with a new date.
Be careful when someone is using you as a sounding board and it starts to feel like you are a punching bag.
*If he has an ex girlfriend problem, you have to let him know how to treat you.
If he understood how his conversation about his ex was turning you off, he probably wouldn't do it.
Tell him gently that it sounds like he is not over this past relationship and perhaps he might want to talk to a counselor.
If he continues, let him know that even though you appreciate his sharing, you do not feel qualified to help him work through his anger or pain.
And if he still can't hear you, tell him that when he gets over his ex, maybe then the two of you can pick up where you left off.
It's important that you not let yourself be used as a life raft for someone who is recovering from a breakup.
They may be quite compelling and convincing that they are in love with you, (even though they can't stop talking about their ex.
)Often, when you hold someone together after a relationship dissolves, you may find that once they are feeling stronger, they will swim away.
If you meet someone who is straight out of a romance of some length, be careful before you get too involved.
You need to protect your heart so you are ready for the right someone who is looking for you.
The ex girlfriend problem does not need to be your problem.
And if you are the one who is fresh out of a relationship, heal yourself as much as humanly possible before you find a boyfriend.
Naturally, if someone asks why you had a breakup, you will want to give an honest answer.
But you want to think about what you say and how you say it.
Ex bashing is not attractive.
You, with a great attitude, are irresistible.
The ex-factor is one of the most common issues that give people problems.
What do you do when you are out with someone and he cannot stop talking about his ex? *Guys have problems letting go of the ex.
Guys talk about their ex because they have not worked through the problems they had in that relationship.
They are still processing whatever they did and didn't learn from the past, and they have not brought it to a workable conclusion.
Some research shows that men have more problems letting go than women do.
*Talking about the ex is called baggage.
The ex-girlfriend problem with your new date stems from the fact that the past relationship turned out badly.
The feelings of guilt, anger, hurt, confusion, and blame have not been resolved.
As much as the relationship didn't work, he may still miss her.
He still needs to talk about it because he isn't over it, and has not found a way to work it through.
People bring their unresolved emotional issues into the present and deposit them by the trunk full right between them and the new person they are with.
*Talking about the ex puts distance between you and him.
Lots of guys are clueless.
They don't understand that it is inappropriate to vent about an old love interest with a new date.
Be careful when someone is using you as a sounding board and it starts to feel like you are a punching bag.
*If he has an ex girlfriend problem, you have to let him know how to treat you.
If he understood how his conversation about his ex was turning you off, he probably wouldn't do it.
Tell him gently that it sounds like he is not over this past relationship and perhaps he might want to talk to a counselor.
If he continues, let him know that even though you appreciate his sharing, you do not feel qualified to help him work through his anger or pain.
And if he still can't hear you, tell him that when he gets over his ex, maybe then the two of you can pick up where you left off.
It's important that you not let yourself be used as a life raft for someone who is recovering from a breakup.
They may be quite compelling and convincing that they are in love with you, (even though they can't stop talking about their ex.
)Often, when you hold someone together after a relationship dissolves, you may find that once they are feeling stronger, they will swim away.
If you meet someone who is straight out of a romance of some length, be careful before you get too involved.
You need to protect your heart so you are ready for the right someone who is looking for you.
The ex girlfriend problem does not need to be your problem.
And if you are the one who is fresh out of a relationship, heal yourself as much as humanly possible before you find a boyfriend.
Naturally, if someone asks why you had a breakup, you will want to give an honest answer.
But you want to think about what you say and how you say it.
Ex bashing is not attractive.
You, with a great attitude, are irresistible.
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