The most important thing youmust do from here on in, is drop your feelings of heartache, pain, devastation and take on a whole new empowering attitude.
Putting all feelings aside, you will need to start using psychology on your ex and use this to masterfully force them back into your life.
1.
Use reverse psychology...
Show a disinterest to them.
Act complacent and preoccupied around them.
If they ask about your behaviour, say you have a date or engagement to attend to and you're busy.
Do not show any signs of interest or concern for her.
But, be sure to act polite and nice about it.
Your objective is to show her you have moved past the relationship, but don't do it in a way that will make it look like you are trying to make her jealous or spite her.
2.
Pay close attention to her way of expressing herself...
Use this to your advantage.
Does she use images, sounds or feelings mostly to express herself? Find out if she is a visual, kinesthetic or auditory learner, and talk to her using her method of explaining things.
The truth is that most relationships fail because of an incongruence in communication between partners.
I guarantee this tip alone will make you relate to her far better.
3.
Use softeners and acknowledge her...
This is a must when she is voicing her frustrations, disatisfactions, etc.
Examples of softeners: If she says "you were selfish and uncaring" you could respond with a softener "you were stressed and preoccupied".
Or if she says "the relationship was a mess and you made her unhappy".
Reply with the softener "things could definitely have been better planned" and "you were a grumpy Guss at times".
You are trying to lighten the situation, and remember not to put up any resistance.
The goal is to get her back, whatever the case may be.