Toxic relationships are frequently very compelling.
To someone who has experienced the pain and struggle of maintaining a toxic relationship, the prospect of getting away and staying away is very difficult.
Often, one of the results of a toxic relationship is that whatever self esteem may have been present in the victim is further destroyed.
The victim may know intellectually that the relationship was destructive and hurtful, but the prospect of going it alone seems impossible.
He or she may feel incapable or incompetent, or wonder if anyone will ever love him or her again.
The grief process is similar to that of other losses, except that the person coming out of the toxic relationship already has a shaky self worth.
Here are 3 steps to processing the grief that comes from breaking off a toxic relationship: 1.
Honor your emotions.
Take some time to process, write in a journal, and get your feelings out.
This was an important relationship and leaving it is a big change.
Despite all the negative aspects, there were enough positive things to grieve for.
Just remember that this relationship was a "package deal," and that the bad came with the good.
2.
Spend as much time as possible around your friends, family, and loved ones.
These are the people who are your "reprogrammers" and can help you counteract the negative words of your ex partner.
You need to hear as many affirming and building statements to help you let go of all the criticisms or effects of disrespectful behaviors that you experienced.
3.
Do some work on yourself.
Talk with a counselor to help you process your emotions and develop a more insightful understanding of what exactly happened and what your part was in the whole thing.
This is important, because you do not want to repeat the experience with a different person who is nevertheless toxic.
Take good care of yourself physically, and make you the project.
This is a good way to show yourself that you are valuable and worth the effort.
To someone who has experienced the pain and struggle of maintaining a toxic relationship, the prospect of getting away and staying away is very difficult.
Often, one of the results of a toxic relationship is that whatever self esteem may have been present in the victim is further destroyed.
The victim may know intellectually that the relationship was destructive and hurtful, but the prospect of going it alone seems impossible.
He or she may feel incapable or incompetent, or wonder if anyone will ever love him or her again.
The grief process is similar to that of other losses, except that the person coming out of the toxic relationship already has a shaky self worth.
Here are 3 steps to processing the grief that comes from breaking off a toxic relationship: 1.
Honor your emotions.
Take some time to process, write in a journal, and get your feelings out.
This was an important relationship and leaving it is a big change.
Despite all the negative aspects, there were enough positive things to grieve for.
Just remember that this relationship was a "package deal," and that the bad came with the good.
2.
Spend as much time as possible around your friends, family, and loved ones.
These are the people who are your "reprogrammers" and can help you counteract the negative words of your ex partner.
You need to hear as many affirming and building statements to help you let go of all the criticisms or effects of disrespectful behaviors that you experienced.
3.
Do some work on yourself.
Talk with a counselor to help you process your emotions and develop a more insightful understanding of what exactly happened and what your part was in the whole thing.
This is important, because you do not want to repeat the experience with a different person who is nevertheless toxic.
Take good care of yourself physically, and make you the project.
This is a good way to show yourself that you are valuable and worth the effort.
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