Couples go their separate ways every day, but every once in a while you'll run into a situation where your boyfriend asks for a break instead of a break up.
You'll be sad and confused...
does he still want you or is this his way of letting you down easy? Is your relationship really over, or is there a way to save it? Before you can answer those questions, you'll need to examine why your ex broke up with you.
And all too often, that reason is not what he says it is.
So why the deception? Why wouldn't your ex come right out and say what's wrong, so that the two of you can fix it? Well the truth is that, much like women, men don't always say what they mean.
Sometimes they try to spare your feelings, and other times they use deflection to avoid telling you what's really bothering them.
This is because some topics aren't easy to bring up...
such as core personality traits that may conflict with what your ex boyfriend really wants in a girlfriend.
If you're displaying some of these undesirable traits, it's not always a simple thing to mention.
In such a case, most women can get very defensive and feel like they're being attacked for "who they are".
So instead, your boyfriend asks for a break...
hoping that maybe the situation will somehow magically change.
Of course, it's almost impossible for you to figure out what's wrong here.
After all, your ex probably didn't give you much to go on.
Maybe you got a "We're not compatible", or "We just drifted apart".
Maybe you even got the all-time biggest copout: "It's not you, it's me".
Some guys are even more vague when they break up with you...
they just shrug their shoulders and tell you things aren't working out.
Getting your ex back when your boyfriend wants a break is all about identifying exactly what elements of the relationship are bothering him, and then working toward fixing them.
Some of the issues may actually lie with him, and can only be changed by your ex.
Unfortunately, you have no control over those.
But others are within the realm of your own responsibility, and these are the ones you can work on.
Below is a list of personality traits most men find very undesirable when it comes to being in a relationship.
Some of these behaviors are a two-way street, meaning that women aren't too fond of them either.
But if you look at the list below, and you're guilty of one or more of these offenses, working toward fixing them could go a long way toward getting your boyfriend to come back to you.
Jealousy - Every relationship has its own share of healthy jealousy, but when you start being overly jealous things can go bad very quickly.
Even worse is unwarranted jealousy - accusing your boyfriend of silly things based upon broad assumptions you make against him.
If your ex never did anything to make you suspicious of him, you need to give him the benefit of the doubt.
An overly jealous girlfriend is none too attractive.
Neediness - Women like men who are confident and have their act together.
For exactly the same reason, men want similar traits in women.
Being needy is actually the opposite of being confident...
at first it's a little bit cute, but as time goes on it becomes very laborious to date a girl who needs constant attention.
Make sure you weren't overly needy when it came to the relationship, and that you were giving just as much, if not more, than you were taking from it.
Insecurity - This goes hand in hand with jealousy.
A girl who's insecure is also unconfident, and this can be a real turn-off over time.
Guys don't mind telling you when you look pretty or make them happy, and hearing those things should always pump you up.
But when you're asking for reassurance ten times a day? That act gets real old, real fast.
If you're overly insecure, it could be one of the reasons why your boyfriend wants a break from your relationship.
Moodiness - Everyone has a bad day.
Your boyfriend should be there to pick you up whenever you're feeling down, and this is healthy.
But what's not healthy? Constantly being moody and always needing to be cheered up.
Even worse: moodiness with no cure.
You'd be surprised, but some girls find comfort in always being miserable.
They don't even want to be picked up - they find it more fun to act like they're down in the dumps and play the role of constant martyr.
If this is you, there's a good chance your boyfriend broke up with you for it.
No one wants to put up with this behavior on a daily basis.
Controlling Behavior - Some women don't just date a boyfriend...
they feel they own them.
They think that just because they're dating a guy they somehow have the right to dictate his daily schedule, his weekend plans, his visits with friends, family...
the list goes on and on.
If you were in constant control of your boyfriend's life, monitored his cellphone and text-messages, and always made him check with you before making plans? You were definitely way too controlling over the relationship.
This unbalance of power could be exactly why your ex felt the need to "escape" from things.
High Drama - Yes, it's true: some women are overly dramatic.
Try to think of the last few fights or arguments you had with your ex, just before he asked you for a break.
Were they over small, insignificant things? Do you sometimes blow things way out of proportion, just to be "right" about something? Creating drama where there really shouldn't be any is an exhausting, taxing way to carry on a romance.
You'll constantly be on edge and your boyfriend will always feel like he's walking on eggshells whenever he's around you.
This type of scenario is bad for the both of you, which is why drama should be avoided wherever possible.
The general rule: If it's not a big deal, don't make it one.
If your boyfriend wants a break, one of the first things you need to do is give it to him.
Take a step back, and leave him alone for a while.
Examine this list, and try to identify problem areas.
At the same time, giving your ex his space will allow him time to see the relationship from a solo standpoint.
It won't be long before he misses you, provided you're not trying to call him, email him, or otherwise keep in touch.
Leaving your ex alone is critical at this point, so make sure you don't blow it.
Once you've figured out that there are changes to be made, work on them.
Your next step? Letting your boyfriend know what you've learned.
There are ways of reconnecting with your ex while on a break, so that you can get him to reverse his decision to take some time apart.
With some time and patience, you can keep your break from becoming a break up.
But whatever you do, don't panic.
Examine your own unique situation, and try to come up with a step-by-step blueprint for winning back his heart again.