Despair is an enemy who creeps in unwanted and unannounced; he will pounce on you only when you are at your weakest and he is the stronger companion to depression. Why is he stronger? Because he leads you "Hopelessness!" that's why. And despair and hopelessness have another pal, his name is "inactivity!" And this will be a major blocker to getting your ex back.
When we find ourselves in the situation where it is hard to get through the day because our valued and lost relationship is gone, we find we have developed the "lead" disease, our legs seem to be filled with lead...so heavy it is hard to put one foot ahead of the other. Our arms have developed a similar condition, lifting the kettle takes real effort and often we forego the cup of coffee because the effort just seems too much
Well, there are steps we can take to keep ourselves from sinking into total despair. One of those is to keep in mind the simple fact that if we have sunk into a lethargic state of uselessness we are useless...get it? If you are useless you cannot get your ex back. To win your ex back you need a positive attitude. One of the tenets of this program is that the impossible can be overcome! If you are useless you will be unable to rescue the relationship that you value so highly and you artificially force the situation to be impossible. So stay active, find things to keep you busy and your mind and heart from sinking deep even if it is work. Do some gardening, go hiking or walking, get out of the house or wherever you might live. Do not isolate yourself, wearing your heart out on your sleeve. Nobody expects you to be iron-heart! We are emotional beings and very intelligent ones too and we are vastly able to find ways through the days and weeks of trauma
Keep in touch with friends, accept their attempts to cheer you with grace and thanks, avoid pushing them away. Even tell them that you are giving things a little time to settle and then you are going all-out to get your ex back, they will pass the word on to your ex and that will keep some form of light on in the long and dark tunnel. Of course there is a need for time alone to mourn your loss but please don't live there all day and night. If your ex knows you want to get back together sometime it could well prepare the way for you and make things easier when the time comes to take action
In conclusion, mourn your loss yes, but do your utmost to maintain hope until you are over the worst, and plan your action in the meantime. And definitely study this course, it will prepare you for what you will need to do soon.
As a husband and Dad, I truly wish you well in your quest to get your ex back with you.
Kind Regards, Ivan
PS Despair can immobilize you, you need to be mobile!
When we find ourselves in the situation where it is hard to get through the day because our valued and lost relationship is gone, we find we have developed the "lead" disease, our legs seem to be filled with lead...so heavy it is hard to put one foot ahead of the other. Our arms have developed a similar condition, lifting the kettle takes real effort and often we forego the cup of coffee because the effort just seems too much
Well, there are steps we can take to keep ourselves from sinking into total despair. One of those is to keep in mind the simple fact that if we have sunk into a lethargic state of uselessness we are useless...get it? If you are useless you cannot get your ex back. To win your ex back you need a positive attitude. One of the tenets of this program is that the impossible can be overcome! If you are useless you will be unable to rescue the relationship that you value so highly and you artificially force the situation to be impossible. So stay active, find things to keep you busy and your mind and heart from sinking deep even if it is work. Do some gardening, go hiking or walking, get out of the house or wherever you might live. Do not isolate yourself, wearing your heart out on your sleeve. Nobody expects you to be iron-heart! We are emotional beings and very intelligent ones too and we are vastly able to find ways through the days and weeks of trauma
Keep in touch with friends, accept their attempts to cheer you with grace and thanks, avoid pushing them away. Even tell them that you are giving things a little time to settle and then you are going all-out to get your ex back, they will pass the word on to your ex and that will keep some form of light on in the long and dark tunnel. Of course there is a need for time alone to mourn your loss but please don't live there all day and night. If your ex knows you want to get back together sometime it could well prepare the way for you and make things easier when the time comes to take action
In conclusion, mourn your loss yes, but do your utmost to maintain hope until you are over the worst, and plan your action in the meantime. And definitely study this course, it will prepare you for what you will need to do soon.
As a husband and Dad, I truly wish you well in your quest to get your ex back with you.
Kind Regards, Ivan
PS Despair can immobilize you, you need to be mobile!
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