You've just broken up with your partner and feeling the after effects of the end of a four-year relationship.
Your heart keeps telling you he or she is the one, and things could be fixed if only your ex gives you one more chance.
For those that have just broken up, these feelings of dread and despair are quite common.
In the days that follow, you may find yourself slipping into a pit of depression and self-pity.
Suddenly, you have too much free time and nothing to do with it.
You realize there's only one thing to do: give your ex a call and cry until he or she gives in.
Unfortunately, that would probably make the situation even worse and leave your ex in tears and afraid of you.
So what should you do? The world is closing in on you and there's nobody to fish you out.
First things first.
Keep calm and pull your emotions together.
Don't call you ex and don't lock yourself away with a bottle of Valium.
There are three very effective steps that will help you in your quest to getting back with your ex.
1.
Come to terms with the situation.
Be aware that right now you have little control of the situation and in order to regain that control, you need to control your emotions.
Acceptance is the key to handling the situation in a way that will benefit you.
If you speak with your ex, tell him or her of your acceptance.
This will immediately clear up the emotional tension flowing between you both.
Now that you both know where the other stands, you can give yourself and your ex time to reflect on the situation and come to a conclusion.
Will you stay together or is it time to say goodbye? This choice must be mutual and cannot be force by you or your ex.
2.
Don't communicate with your ex.
You need some time to figure out in your head exactly what you want without the added emotional interferences of your partner.
Sometimes, when couples are apart for a short period, they begin to realize how much they actually love each other.
Show your ex that you are strong and mature enough to cope without him or her and that you can move on if you like.
By limiting the phone calls and texts, you ex has time to find out if he or she misses you or not.
If your ex does and he or she calls you, then half the work is already done.
When you finally talk, speak with a clear and calm head.
3.
Arrange the meeting.
Now that you have gone through the first steps, it is important that you know exactly where you're going to meet and what you're going to say.
Prepare a few questions, but don't be too forceful.
Calm, friendly talk is good.
Keep negative emotions out of the conversation.
Listen carefully to what she has to say.
The answers should be all that you need to decide whether your ex still wants to be with you or not.