So you're a woman who has cheated on your boyfriend, he left you, and you want to get him back.
By now, you should have ended the affair and cut your ex-lover out of your life completely.
You have sincerely apologized to your ex-boyfriend, and he is willing to give you a second chance.
Although he won't come out and say it, you've hurt your boyfriend deeply.
Cheating on him was a betrayal of his trust, a blow to his self-esteem, and an attack on his manhood.
If you really want him back, you have to do penance for your misdeed, soothe his pain, and reassure him that you love only him and him alone.
Words aren't enough-only actions will make up for what you did.
Ask him what you need to do to make up for the affair, and be willing to do whatever it takes to save the relationship.
Tell Him Everything and Be Honest In American culture, men have a hard time expressing their feelings-yet it has to be done to work things out.
A way around this problem is letter writing.
Your boyfriend may have an easier time expressing his feelings about the affair on paper rather than face-to-face.
One of the first things your boyfriend will ask is who you cheated on him with.
He might even want to know every detail of what happened.
Tell him the whole truth.
How can you expect him to ever trust you again if you won't even answer one of the first questions he asks? If you're afraid your boyfriend will try to hurt your ex-lover, it's okay to make him promise not to before you give up the name.
You can also stress that the affair was your idea, your choice, and your mistake, not your ex-lover's.
It helps if your ex-love thought you were single at the time.
Let Him Keep Track of You Women are taught these days that a boyfriend who tracks your every move is possessive and controlling, and women shouldn't put up with that.
However, if you've cheated on your boyfriend and want him back, make an exception in this particular case.
After all, you've already abused your freedom and privacy (and his trust) once, and hurt him badly in the process.
You can't really still expect his unconditional trust after you betrayed it, can you? If your boyfriend wants to check up on you after you cheated on him, in this case he's not being controlling so much as verifying your trustworthiness-so give him all the evidence he needs.
Let him know where you are, who you're with, and what you're doing.
If he asks, let him check your cell phone's call list and text messages, Instant Message logs, and email accounts-for a few months, at least.
After all, you've got nothing to hide, right? Over time, as trust is rebuilt, he'll check up on you less and less, then stop.
Make Love to Him Sexually, men and women react to infidelity in different emotional ways.
Although this doesn't apply to every man or woman, in general, when a woman has been cheated on, she doesn't want to have sex with her partner for a long time, not until the trust and love have been rebuilt.
Men, in general, react the exact opposite way.
After being cheated on, men want to have sex with their partner again as soon as possible.
Part of this, of course, is reclaiming lost territory, so to speak.
Another part of this is reaffirming that they are attractive, sexy, virile, a good lover, and a man.
Still another part of it is that men, not exactly overly talkative about their emotions, prefer to communicate with (and respond better to) actions and gestures instead.
Lovemaking, of course, is the most profound physical gesture of love.
Assuming you're boyfriend is okay with it, go ahead and make love to him.
Note that we said make love-you can't just lie there, you have to be an active participant.
Treat it like Valentine's Day.
Cook dinner, dress up, play soft music, light a candle, do something special...
make it as romantic as possible.
Prove that he once again has exclusive access to your love, your lovemaking, and all the pleasures of both.
This won't fix all the problems caused by the affair-but it will help.
By now, you should have ended the affair and cut your ex-lover out of your life completely.
You have sincerely apologized to your ex-boyfriend, and he is willing to give you a second chance.
Although he won't come out and say it, you've hurt your boyfriend deeply.
Cheating on him was a betrayal of his trust, a blow to his self-esteem, and an attack on his manhood.
If you really want him back, you have to do penance for your misdeed, soothe his pain, and reassure him that you love only him and him alone.
Words aren't enough-only actions will make up for what you did.
Ask him what you need to do to make up for the affair, and be willing to do whatever it takes to save the relationship.
Tell Him Everything and Be Honest In American culture, men have a hard time expressing their feelings-yet it has to be done to work things out.
A way around this problem is letter writing.
Your boyfriend may have an easier time expressing his feelings about the affair on paper rather than face-to-face.
One of the first things your boyfriend will ask is who you cheated on him with.
He might even want to know every detail of what happened.
Tell him the whole truth.
How can you expect him to ever trust you again if you won't even answer one of the first questions he asks? If you're afraid your boyfriend will try to hurt your ex-lover, it's okay to make him promise not to before you give up the name.
You can also stress that the affair was your idea, your choice, and your mistake, not your ex-lover's.
It helps if your ex-love thought you were single at the time.
Let Him Keep Track of You Women are taught these days that a boyfriend who tracks your every move is possessive and controlling, and women shouldn't put up with that.
However, if you've cheated on your boyfriend and want him back, make an exception in this particular case.
After all, you've already abused your freedom and privacy (and his trust) once, and hurt him badly in the process.
You can't really still expect his unconditional trust after you betrayed it, can you? If your boyfriend wants to check up on you after you cheated on him, in this case he's not being controlling so much as verifying your trustworthiness-so give him all the evidence he needs.
Let him know where you are, who you're with, and what you're doing.
If he asks, let him check your cell phone's call list and text messages, Instant Message logs, and email accounts-for a few months, at least.
After all, you've got nothing to hide, right? Over time, as trust is rebuilt, he'll check up on you less and less, then stop.
Make Love to Him Sexually, men and women react to infidelity in different emotional ways.
Although this doesn't apply to every man or woman, in general, when a woman has been cheated on, she doesn't want to have sex with her partner for a long time, not until the trust and love have been rebuilt.
Men, in general, react the exact opposite way.
After being cheated on, men want to have sex with their partner again as soon as possible.
Part of this, of course, is reclaiming lost territory, so to speak.
Another part of this is reaffirming that they are attractive, sexy, virile, a good lover, and a man.
Still another part of it is that men, not exactly overly talkative about their emotions, prefer to communicate with (and respond better to) actions and gestures instead.
Lovemaking, of course, is the most profound physical gesture of love.
Assuming you're boyfriend is okay with it, go ahead and make love to him.
Note that we said make love-you can't just lie there, you have to be an active participant.
Treat it like Valentine's Day.
Cook dinner, dress up, play soft music, light a candle, do something special...
make it as romantic as possible.
Prove that he once again has exclusive access to your love, your lovemaking, and all the pleasures of both.
This won't fix all the problems caused by the affair-but it will help.
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