Have you ever been in the position where you feel your ex doesn't want to know you? Well that's my position right now - it really seems as if my ex doesn't want to know me, in fact it feels as if I don't exist to her at all.
All I want to do is explain to her what happened but it is such an unusual story she probably wouldn't listen anyway and certainly I wouldn't blame her.
But I have proof -if only she would let me tell her this whole misunderstanding could be sorted out.
What had happened is I had arranged for us to have a bit of a dinner of at my cottage with a few close friends.
My fiancé came over from her place early as she always did and we got busy with preparing the meal and setting out everything for a perfect evening.
Everything was done and we were literally waiting for the first guests to arrive when she asked if I had ginger ale for one of the guests who drank only brandy and ginger ale.
I didn't but as the farm was only five miles from the nearest supermarket I hopped in the car and set off leaving her to meet any guests that might arrive while I was out.
On the way I had to go directly past the golf course and it struck me that I could get what I needed there so I pulled in and ordered a couple of bottles to "take away".
The usual crowd was gathered in the pub and of course I was invited to have a drink.
"Why not?" I thought "I've saved at least 10 minutes so I can have a quick one.
" That was the biggest mistake of my life! One of my best golfing mates got stuck into me and told me he had just bought a piece of land "just around the corner" and valued my opinion.
I promised to give him some time over the weekend and as the next day was a Saturday asked him to phone me.
He would have none of it as he said "it was literally five minutes away" and if we went now my fiancé wouldn't even know I had been.
Stupidly I let myself get talked into it and the rest is history.
Like an idiot I allowed myself to get talked into his getting into his car and being driven to this property with no less that 2 cans of beer in the car "for the road" - that alone should have been warning enough.
Off we went and after a few minutes I was starting to get concerned because it was a bit further than I thought.
Another beer was thrust in my hands and I glumly took it as they (the beers) were beginning to taste rather pleasant.
I may as well make the most of what was turning into a bad situation.
That beer finished I was handed another and some twenty or so minutes after leaving the club we arrived at this little piece of land which was a 2 acre section cut off from a much bigger farm.
We pulled up to the farmhouse where I was introduced to the farmer who being a hospitable sort of fellow immediately offered yet another beer.
What is a man supposed to do? It would be impolite to refuse his hospitality.
It was evident by now that I was in serious trouble and no matter what I did I was in deep.
The only thing I wasn't sure of was exactly how deep! I knew that even if I phoned and tried to explain it would sound lame - better to try and get home as soon as possible and face her directly.
I also felt that in front of all of our friends I stood a better chance of success especially with some of the guys there - all of whom I was sure had found themselves in a similar, if not as severe, situation before.
I won't bore you with the details of how the evening progressed with the farmer, his wife and my friend.
They all felt that living in a small rural farming community people would understand, and anyway I would be home soon enough where my mates and their wives would be having such a good time they probably hadn't noticed I wasn't there.
I was the host for God's sake! How could I even think that would happen? I got home at 10.
00 pm that night to a dark and abandoned cottage.
There was no-one there and nothing had been touched.
I do not think I can even begin to describe the fear and foreboding that slowly rose until it ached in my stomach.
What does one do when you know nothing is going to get you out of this? Do you drive around to her place? Do you phone her or do you leave it till the morning when everyone has had a chance to sleep on it and calm down? Being the coward that I am I thought the latter was the best course of action.
It didn't work.
My ex doesn't want to know me and is no longer staying at her house - at least not for the time being.
She is letting me know that it is over and who can blame her? I have been lambasted, deservingly, by my guests all of who agree with her course of action.
So do I! But I can't get the opportunity to at least give my side of the story even though my friend, the farmer and his wife are all prepared to stand up and confirm that my only real fault was my inability to say.
Not that it would have helped as no-one paid attention to my pleas that night anyway.
I cannot believe anyone in this situation will ever succeed in getting back together again.
The only hope I have, and I cling to this like a drowning man to a life jacket, is that the engagement ring hasn't been returned yet.
I fear that it is only a matter of time until it is.
I only have myself to blame for my ex not wanting to know me.