So, how do you introduce the idea of male chastity into your relationship once you've asked your Beloved for it? One very powerful way is to seduce her into making love -- because while you're doing it you can start to talk to her (softly and subtly) about male chastity, almost carrying on the story or conversation you've already had.
This is why I said before if your relationship is in such a state sexual activity isn't just low because of apathy but is shunned and avoided because of lack of desire, then chastity isn't going to help you and will, in fact, make things much worse.
As you'll remember, I suggested you broach the subject in an exciting and romantic way, rather then just blurting it out at the most inappropriate time.
I confess, I find it extremely frustrating and exasperating to read the supposedly real-life accounts of men who just drop the idea of male chastity on their wives like a sack of rocks and glibly say, "...
and she accepted it".
Which reminds me of the funny story I wanted to tell you.
Some time ago on one of the forums -- I can't remember which one -- someone posted about how he was going to get my blog up on his computer screen and then "accidentally" forget to close it down, meaning his wife would eventually see it and "get the message".
Unfortunately, this is almost certainly never, ever going to work for anyone and the most likely reaction is an irate wife who thinks you're some kind of pervert.
So the fellow went away, and I thought nothing more of it until he messaged me privately through my blog saying he'd thought about what I said and had realised I was right: hinting won't help.
And he then went on to tell me his new plan: he was going to buy a chastity device and surprise her with it.
I replied and told him this, too, was a Really Bad Idea, but he didn't want to listen.
Anyway, several months later he messaged me again to tell me his wife was no longer talking to him.
"Why on Earth not?", I asked.
Because he hadn't just surprised her with it.
No, that wasn't enough.
He's bought a full steel belt, put it (and nothing else) on and then jumped out and surprised her as she undressed for bed one night.
It was, he said, something of a shock to her and he spent the rest of the weekend sleeping downstairs on the sofa.
I don't know what happened after that, but, although it was rather naughty of me, I have to confess I burst out laughing when I read his morose account of how he'd surprised her in the bedroom.
Just a cautionary tale for you: we don't get hints, and we don't want Big Surprises like that.
Anyway, where were we? OK...
you've had the romantic evening, you've been more attentive without being a pest these last few days and you're both in the mood to make love and now...
as I hope you've guessed already...
you're now going to ask her to practice orgasm denial just this once, just to see what it's like.
It's going to be a lot easier than you think.
Because virtually every couple has at some point enjoyed gentle teasing.
It's probably most women's favourite little trick, to make her man wait a little.
And if you think about it, male chastity is not drastically different from that little game we've all played already, is it? A word of caution: if you're a man leading this, you must go through with it if you want to get the momentum going, so you need to be on your best behavior.
Yes, that probably sounds obvious, but when it comes to the crunch and you've got to stop that orgasm and it's probably something you've never done before...
well, it's going to be harder than you might think.
What's more, if you're the type of man who gets in a huff at coitus-interruptus, that's a habit you're going to have to suppress right now, and get out of completely very, very quickly if you want your partner to embrace the male chastity lifestyle.
And if you're a woman, then you might have to convince him by promising him release in the morning, or even right at the end of your "session".
In general, it's easier for a man to get a woman interested in male chastity than the other way round, for reasons I'll cover in a different article.
Above all, don't take yourselves too seriously.
I mean it is a serious business and if things work out you're going to be making some pretty big and important commitments.
But it's also fun and things can be serious and fun at the same time.
What I mean is, you don't have to be solemn about it and if it doesn't quite work out the way you want it to the first time there's no need to assume it's never going to work.
Like anything worth doing, it takes practice to get it right -- and the best way to get better is to keep having a go.
So if you accidentally orgasm (if you're the man) or you don't stop him in time (if you're the woman), it's no big deal.
Take the time to talk about and share what was so enjoyable and exciting about it (what better way is there to reframe an orgasm you didn't mean to have than to say, "I didn't mean to do that...
but you can see how much you turn me on when we do this, can't you...
?").
Finally, make sure you put this into the context of what you want long-term.
I can't begin to tell you the difference it makes having your man locked so he can't come without your permission...
not with you, not by himself, not even with someone else.
For me it's the most amazing feeling in the world...
and you're about to experience it all for yourself...