Advice on Long-Distance Dating in the Military

Understand the Rules

Talk with your boyfriend about what he would like in the relationship. Discuss whether the relationship will remain monogamous or if it is all right to date other people. Ask your partner how often he plans to visit or see you. There is a big difference between visiting every month and every six months. Strive for the relationship that want. If something doesn't feel right, discuss your feelings openly with your partner in order to decide if you would want to continue in the relationship.

Determine the long-term goals of the relationship. Is commitment or even a wedding the end goal? Understand what your partner wants out of the relationship. Don't go into this thinking that you will be able to change your partner's mind. If your girlfriend is simply looking for casual dating and friendship, a wedding may not be one of her wishes. Set a time line with specific goals, such as visits, trips and possibly moving closer together. Make sure the person you are with understands the responsibilities of being in the military. The future may continue to hold many moves and deployments that cannot be avoided.

Communicate in a variety of ways rather than relying on the telephone and email messages. Send handwritten letters in the mail as well as photos and small gifts. Surprise your girlfriend with flowers or a balloon bouquet sent to her workplace for a quick reminder that you love her. Use a web camera to physically see each other when talking. Use a variety of Internet telephone services to chat on a regular basis. Seeing a person's facial expressions and face is critical in a long-distance relationship. Understand that for security reasons some positions in the military may require a person to go without communication for lengthy time periods.

Plan regular visits, whether monthly or every six months. During those visits, celebrate a memorable event or a special occasion such as a concert, boat cruise or a romantic dinner at home. Make each moment count when you are visiting. After each visit reflect upon the relationship and determine if the visit went as planned and expected. Consider cost when visiting. A person in the military can be several hundred thousand miles away. Ensure that your partner has the proper documentation to visit, including a passport and travel documents.