Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

How to Find a Man

I repeat: boys are not men.
I will never date a boy again.
There are three things a boy must understand to become a man--who he is, what he is, and what his reward in life is.
Let me explain:
  1. Who he is.
    If a man can adequately and articulately express who he is in one sentence, he probably knows who he is.
    Exhibit A: "I am an ambitious, passionate and rational man who wants to experience the world.
    "
  2. What he is.
    For the career-driven, it's his job title.
    For the meaning-driven, it's his significance in the world.
    For the family-oriented, it's his familial role.
    Exhibit B: "I am a loving husband and father.
    "
  3. What his reward in life is.
    Different men expect very different compensations for their efforts in life.
    For the financially-driven, his reward is their annual income.
    For the religiously-driven, it's his spiritual growth and impact.
    For the fame-seeking, it's his social status.
    Exhibit C: "I earn 100 grand a year.
    "
It's really very simple, but you'd be surprised to find how many legally adult "boys" there are.
My advice, from personal experience, is: don't date them! They make great friends, brothers, lawyers, masseuses--everything besides fathers and boyfriends.
Here's how to spot a boy:
  • His mom does his laundry.
  • He can't get things done even when he really, really wants to.
  • He always has an excuse when something doesn't work out.
  • He never takes the blame or accepts the responsibility for his actions.
  • He needs you to validate his beliefs.
  • He can't challenge you.
I am avoiding boys like the plague because boys aren't ready to date anyone.
When I pass my chastity test with flying colors and come out ready for a relationship, I will be looking for men.
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