This headline is shocking.
What do you mean "empower the bully," isn't the bully empowered enough by being a bully? Actually, children who are bullies aren't usually empowered at all.
Many times they're insecure, and when a child feels little power, engaging in bullying behaviors makes them feel powerful.
Sometimes, believe it or not, the child doesn't even know they're doing something wrong.
Teaching children who engage in bullying behavior how to manage their feelings will help stop the behavior, but it goes a little farther than that.
All children who are taught and learn the following points will be more likely to end bullying as perpetrator or victim.
Acceptance -- It's okay not to agree with how other people do things or how they look, but it is important to demonstrate and model acceptance of others.
As long as what the other person is doing is not illegal, or immoral (like cheating or stealing) it's okay to accept people for who they are.
This is especially important for children to learn because the more judgment they face the more judgmental they will be of others and this judgment of others always rubs off on the self, causing low self-worth and esteem.
Decision Making -- Start early allowing children to make choices.
If not given the opportunity to make decisions from an early age on inconsequential situations, as well as more important situations, it will stunt their ability to make appropriate decisions when an adult is not watching.
Empathy -- The ability to realize that something can happen to us is the corner stone of empathy.
Often referred to as putting yourself into someone else's shoes, this is a skill that will empower children and adult's greatness.
One way to demonstrate empathy is to explain how something makes you feel to the child, and let them share with you how they feel.
Excellence -- This does not mean always getting "A's", but it does mean that in everything that a child attempts, he or she should be encouraged to do it to their very best ability.
A way to instruct children about excellence is to give them many chances to demonstrate and experience excellence.
Assigning chores, taking music lessons, helping with homework assignments, is a good way to give children a chance to practice excellence.
After a child completes something, asked them if they did their best.
If they didn't do their best, or they feel their results are less than perfect, explore with them ways to improve.
Remember, excellence is not perfection since no human being is perfect and operates perfectly at all times.
Striving for excellence is striving to do your best.
Integrity -- If integrity is not being taught at home, then it falls to the schools, but how can something like integrity be taught? Children who witness integrity and are rewarded for showing it, learn it.
Therefore, integrity is taught by experiencing it.
Interconnectedness -- One way to encourage ethical behavior and stop bullying in its tracks is to show children how everyone and everything on earth is interconnected in some way.
How we do things and what we do, does impact others, even if the result of our behavior doesn't happen appear for years.
Natural Consequences -- Start teaching children natural consequences at a young age.
Even the simple lesson of not wearing a winter coat on a cold day, and thus being cold because you didn't do what mom suggested, is a good way to teach natural consequences.
Patience -- Find ways to show how doing something today, can have big results tomorrow.
Grow a garden, start a savings account, or do other things that show delayed gratification as a way to teach children that good things do come to those who wait.
Resilience -- Another skill that is learned by example and experience is resilience.
Getting up and picking yourself up off the floor after a bad fall without focusing on it too long is a good skill to learn for life.
Life is a series of success and failures, but the only way you can experience success is through failing.
Self-Control -- Once a child learns that they have complete control over their own actions, the world changes.
So many children feel powerless over their own emotions and even their own actions.
They see their actions as something outside of themselves because everything else is so out of control.
Teaching self-control to a child goes far beyond any type of punishment you can bestow on a child due to inappropriate behavior.
Learning self-control means a child will do right, even when not being watched.
What do you mean "empower the bully," isn't the bully empowered enough by being a bully? Actually, children who are bullies aren't usually empowered at all.
Many times they're insecure, and when a child feels little power, engaging in bullying behaviors makes them feel powerful.
Sometimes, believe it or not, the child doesn't even know they're doing something wrong.
Teaching children who engage in bullying behavior how to manage their feelings will help stop the behavior, but it goes a little farther than that.
All children who are taught and learn the following points will be more likely to end bullying as perpetrator or victim.
Acceptance -- It's okay not to agree with how other people do things or how they look, but it is important to demonstrate and model acceptance of others.
As long as what the other person is doing is not illegal, or immoral (like cheating or stealing) it's okay to accept people for who they are.
This is especially important for children to learn because the more judgment they face the more judgmental they will be of others and this judgment of others always rubs off on the self, causing low self-worth and esteem.
Decision Making -- Start early allowing children to make choices.
If not given the opportunity to make decisions from an early age on inconsequential situations, as well as more important situations, it will stunt their ability to make appropriate decisions when an adult is not watching.
Empathy -- The ability to realize that something can happen to us is the corner stone of empathy.
Often referred to as putting yourself into someone else's shoes, this is a skill that will empower children and adult's greatness.
One way to demonstrate empathy is to explain how something makes you feel to the child, and let them share with you how they feel.
Excellence -- This does not mean always getting "A's", but it does mean that in everything that a child attempts, he or she should be encouraged to do it to their very best ability.
A way to instruct children about excellence is to give them many chances to demonstrate and experience excellence.
Assigning chores, taking music lessons, helping with homework assignments, is a good way to give children a chance to practice excellence.
After a child completes something, asked them if they did their best.
If they didn't do their best, or they feel their results are less than perfect, explore with them ways to improve.
Remember, excellence is not perfection since no human being is perfect and operates perfectly at all times.
Striving for excellence is striving to do your best.
Integrity -- If integrity is not being taught at home, then it falls to the schools, but how can something like integrity be taught? Children who witness integrity and are rewarded for showing it, learn it.
Therefore, integrity is taught by experiencing it.
Interconnectedness -- One way to encourage ethical behavior and stop bullying in its tracks is to show children how everyone and everything on earth is interconnected in some way.
How we do things and what we do, does impact others, even if the result of our behavior doesn't happen appear for years.
Natural Consequences -- Start teaching children natural consequences at a young age.
Even the simple lesson of not wearing a winter coat on a cold day, and thus being cold because you didn't do what mom suggested, is a good way to teach natural consequences.
Patience -- Find ways to show how doing something today, can have big results tomorrow.
Grow a garden, start a savings account, or do other things that show delayed gratification as a way to teach children that good things do come to those who wait.
Resilience -- Another skill that is learned by example and experience is resilience.
Getting up and picking yourself up off the floor after a bad fall without focusing on it too long is a good skill to learn for life.
Life is a series of success and failures, but the only way you can experience success is through failing.
Self-Control -- Once a child learns that they have complete control over their own actions, the world changes.
So many children feel powerless over their own emotions and even their own actions.
They see their actions as something outside of themselves because everything else is so out of control.
Teaching self-control to a child goes far beyond any type of punishment you can bestow on a child due to inappropriate behavior.
Learning self-control means a child will do right, even when not being watched.
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