Perfect marriage.
These words bring smiles and tears of joy - most of the time.
Sometimes, however, there is concern when two households are merging into one and adult children are left wondering what happens after their mom or dad remarries.
The "perfect marriage" I'm talking about is between a personal property inventory and a prenuptial agreement.
There is a common concerned among adult children that a favorite family heirloom will go to the new step-parent.
Or, even worse, to the new step-siblings if their own parent's entire estate goes to the remaining spouse.
These concerns can bring discourse among the family members, especially the adult children who fear they will be affected.
This can lead to friction, resentment and distrust.
And, of course, this flows over into the lives of the two people who are planning a wedding.
Emotions are high, and all too often remarks are made that would have been better left unsaid.
It is frequently not that they don't welcome the new marriage, but instead, it is the fear that they will be denied a part of their family heritage.
And that means they fear having the memories taken away, too.
To help alleviate these issues, a prenuptial agreement and a personal property inventory should be compiled by both the future bride and groom.
These documents will enable everyone to feel confident they will not be left "high and dry" when it comes to their inheritance.
And it's not just high-value heirlooms.
Is there a quilt that has special meaning? Maybe a vase mom always put the hand-picked flowers in? Or some hand tools they shared with dad when working on the car together? A special picture frame, candy dish, clock, candle holder...
often it's the memory and sentiment that causes the most emotion - and resulting discord.
An inventory of each of the households prior to combining the contents will show who owned what before the marriage.
There is no limit to how many items can be included on the list of contents.
Ask all involved to gather in a friendly, casual atmosphere.
Create the list together so everyone knows and exactly what is being stated on the list.
Placing the names of who gets what next to the specific items will let the family members and the courts know your intention.
Referencing the inventory in the will can serve as a letter of instruction in the State of Indiana and other states.
If that is not the case in your state, the document will at least help the executor carry out your wishes because he or she will know your intention.
So, if you, a family member or friend are preparing to marry, and adult children are in the picture (whether they are showing concern or not), consider how much stress, heartache and (unfortunately) quarreling can be avoided by having a detailed inventory recorded prior to the marriage.
If the knot has already been tied, this can still be accomplished by using the same process.
You'll just do this with both families in attendance.
Then, all should be well in the merged household.
You may now kiss the bride.
These words bring smiles and tears of joy - most of the time.
Sometimes, however, there is concern when two households are merging into one and adult children are left wondering what happens after their mom or dad remarries.
The "perfect marriage" I'm talking about is between a personal property inventory and a prenuptial agreement.
There is a common concerned among adult children that a favorite family heirloom will go to the new step-parent.
Or, even worse, to the new step-siblings if their own parent's entire estate goes to the remaining spouse.
These concerns can bring discourse among the family members, especially the adult children who fear they will be affected.
This can lead to friction, resentment and distrust.
And, of course, this flows over into the lives of the two people who are planning a wedding.
Emotions are high, and all too often remarks are made that would have been better left unsaid.
It is frequently not that they don't welcome the new marriage, but instead, it is the fear that they will be denied a part of their family heritage.
And that means they fear having the memories taken away, too.
To help alleviate these issues, a prenuptial agreement and a personal property inventory should be compiled by both the future bride and groom.
These documents will enable everyone to feel confident they will not be left "high and dry" when it comes to their inheritance.
And it's not just high-value heirlooms.
Is there a quilt that has special meaning? Maybe a vase mom always put the hand-picked flowers in? Or some hand tools they shared with dad when working on the car together? A special picture frame, candy dish, clock, candle holder...
often it's the memory and sentiment that causes the most emotion - and resulting discord.
An inventory of each of the households prior to combining the contents will show who owned what before the marriage.
There is no limit to how many items can be included on the list of contents.
Ask all involved to gather in a friendly, casual atmosphere.
Create the list together so everyone knows and exactly what is being stated on the list.
Placing the names of who gets what next to the specific items will let the family members and the courts know your intention.
Referencing the inventory in the will can serve as a letter of instruction in the State of Indiana and other states.
If that is not the case in your state, the document will at least help the executor carry out your wishes because he or she will know your intention.
So, if you, a family member or friend are preparing to marry, and adult children are in the picture (whether they are showing concern or not), consider how much stress, heartache and (unfortunately) quarreling can be avoided by having a detailed inventory recorded prior to the marriage.
If the knot has already been tied, this can still be accomplished by using the same process.
You'll just do this with both families in attendance.
Then, all should be well in the merged household.
You may now kiss the bride.
SHARE
