Q:What can I do to increase my self confidence?Is it bad to have low self esteem as a man...
or do some women find sensitivity and uncertainty a turn on?And what can I do to improve my self confidence...
without letting anyone know that I'm NOT all that I appear to be? A:The truth is, we get a lot of questions about self confidence, self esteem and the lack of overarching sense of POWER and purpose in our readers lives.
The good news?Self confidence is something that can be CULTIVATED and created, even if you don't feel like your life is going all that well right now.
(e.
g.
- even if you don't feel like have a lot of reason to be confident, you can trick you brain into believing that you SHOULD be, and that's a very empowering life hack for all of us) There have been lots of lots of studies done about this over the last few years, especially with men (and women) who are shy, reserved and don't feel all that powerful on the inside.
The secret to overcoming all of these very limiting beliefs is actually SUPER simple.
Change what you focus on.
Believe in something bigger, in both yourself...
and your place in the world.
And adopt a sense of purpose about why you are here, what your role is and what you are destined to become.
Let me give you a quick example that's been pretty extensively studied in "alpha males" What social scientists find about men who GET what they want...
and project an image of power and drive and confidence is simple.
Both of these things can be controlled by focus, and physiology.
(What you think about, and how you position your body to reflect your thoughts.
) On the other side, LOW confidence men have a common trait, too.
For example- If you focus on lack...
or a sense of missing something, your mind will want to wander to what's WRONG in your life, rather than what's right.
While I'm not a big fan of the inner game sort of silliness you'll read in many men's health advice blogs, we DO believe that you can ask yourself more empowering questions, focus on things you are good at and strong in, and slowly but surely, radically "re-invent" yourself in ways that lead to lasting change.
I saw a great TED talk earlier this week on body language and self confidence.
One of the things the presenter ( a scientist who studies this stuff at a high level) said that raised testosterone was actually STANDING in front of the mirror and holding your hands above your head (like a field goal) and smiling.
Sounds silly right?It may...
but they've done tests on the people who do this sort of thing and have found that scientifically - their testosterone levels have gone UP by 20% in about 2 minutes...
And their stress levels have gone DOWN by about the same amount, from that one simple action alone.
The truth is, and this is BIG news...
self confidence can be CONTRIVED and created out of thin air.
You can "fake it till you make it...
" and eventually, have faked it so well, that you BECOME the embodiment of the confidence you crave.
And if you truly want to date more, have better relationships, move up the career totem pole more quickly and have BETTER, longer and more exciting sex...
self confidence is the key.
(and you CAN'T be happy, long term...
without it)
or do some women find sensitivity and uncertainty a turn on?And what can I do to improve my self confidence...
without letting anyone know that I'm NOT all that I appear to be? A:The truth is, we get a lot of questions about self confidence, self esteem and the lack of overarching sense of POWER and purpose in our readers lives.
The good news?Self confidence is something that can be CULTIVATED and created, even if you don't feel like your life is going all that well right now.
(e.
g.
- even if you don't feel like have a lot of reason to be confident, you can trick you brain into believing that you SHOULD be, and that's a very empowering life hack for all of us) There have been lots of lots of studies done about this over the last few years, especially with men (and women) who are shy, reserved and don't feel all that powerful on the inside.
The secret to overcoming all of these very limiting beliefs is actually SUPER simple.
Change what you focus on.
Believe in something bigger, in both yourself...
and your place in the world.
And adopt a sense of purpose about why you are here, what your role is and what you are destined to become.
Let me give you a quick example that's been pretty extensively studied in "alpha males" What social scientists find about men who GET what they want...
and project an image of power and drive and confidence is simple.
- They have HIGH testosterone levels.
(the hormone that regulates drive and ambition) - And low cortisol levels.
(the hormone that regulates stress)
Both of these things can be controlled by focus, and physiology.
(What you think about, and how you position your body to reflect your thoughts.
) On the other side, LOW confidence men have a common trait, too.
For example- If you focus on lack...
or a sense of missing something, your mind will want to wander to what's WRONG in your life, rather than what's right.
While I'm not a big fan of the inner game sort of silliness you'll read in many men's health advice blogs, we DO believe that you can ask yourself more empowering questions, focus on things you are good at and strong in, and slowly but surely, radically "re-invent" yourself in ways that lead to lasting change.
I saw a great TED talk earlier this week on body language and self confidence.
One of the things the presenter ( a scientist who studies this stuff at a high level) said that raised testosterone was actually STANDING in front of the mirror and holding your hands above your head (like a field goal) and smiling.
Sounds silly right?It may...
but they've done tests on the people who do this sort of thing and have found that scientifically - their testosterone levels have gone UP by 20% in about 2 minutes...
And their stress levels have gone DOWN by about the same amount, from that one simple action alone.
The truth is, and this is BIG news...
self confidence can be CONTRIVED and created out of thin air.
You can "fake it till you make it...
" and eventually, have faked it so well, that you BECOME the embodiment of the confidence you crave.
And if you truly want to date more, have better relationships, move up the career totem pole more quickly and have BETTER, longer and more exciting sex...
self confidence is the key.
(and you CAN'T be happy, long term...
without it)
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