Sometimes I consider myself to be a workaholic.
Other times I consider myself to be a socialite, going out and about with my friends every chance I can get.
There are other times in my life when I consider myself to be a loner, wanting to seclude myself at home and do nothing.
And then there are times when I consider myself to be a frequent traveler, going on vacations at least once a month.
When people ask me the all time famous question, "What do you do?" I know what they are really asking me is what my career is.
But the truth is I do a lot of things.
I'm a daughter to my mother; I'm a sister to my brothers; I'm an aunt to my nephews and niece; I'm a friend to many; I'm a colleague to others; I'm an employee to some; I'm a boss to others; I'm a professor to my students; and I'm a career coach to my clients.
Each of these roles I play in life define what I do, because in each of them I do something different.
These are just the roles I play in other people's lives, but I also have different areas of my personal life.
Many life coaches, including myself, work with clients in eight main areas-- or domains -- of someone's life.
These areas are: family and friends, finances, romantic relationships, extra-curricular activities and fun, career, spirituality, health, and personal development and growth.
So let's just get a clear picture here.
Not only do each of us have eight different areas of our own personal lives, but we also play numerous roles in other people's lives.
Imagine each of the eight areas and the different roles you plan piled up on your back, as if you're giving all of them a piggyback ride all at once.
That's usually what it feels like for most people.
It's heavy weight.
All of your affiliations lead to commitments and obligations.
They clutter your mind and make you feel tired just even thinking about it all.
STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELF! IT'S DRAINING YOU! Start with your own eight areas of life and find a balance there.
When I first heard this advice, I thought that I could never do it because that would be the selfish thing to do.
But then I realized that when I felt drained in my own eight areas of life, it was difficult to play the roles that I do in the lives of others.
When I feel balanced in my own life, I'm a better professor.
I'm more present with my students.
I am my true positive and helpful self.
No matter how trying a student might become, my balanced self deals with the situation so that both the student and I learn from each other.
In my self balanced state I've created new and engaging ways to teach my students.
When I'm not balanced in my life, it not so easy to do.
The first thing I do to create balance in my life is rate each of the eight areas in my life on a scale from one to ten, one being the lowest and ten being the highest.
If one area is lacking, I know that's negatively impacting the other seven areas of my life.
Then I work on improving that area, so all of the eight areas are balanced.
Once I'm balanced personally, I make sure I maintain it and then filter in the other roles I serve with other people.
Some of these roles, as I'm sure you've noticed by now, intertwine with the eight areas of my own personal life.
The key is to mix up your activities so that you're not focusing too much attention to one particular area of your personal life and one particular role you serve in the lives of others.
A great example of doing this would be my activities from a recent week.
I worked on my career coaching business.
I worked on some professor responsibilities that had been lingering on my to do list.
I went out with my friends to watch a basketball game.
I cooked dinner and spent time with my family.
I met new friends and did a variety of activities like painting pottery, making chocolate, having lunch, and then going out to dinner.
It was a very balanced week.
But you must also learn how to say, "no.
" Do not sign up for extra projects at work, if you know you do not have the time to include them in the many other projects you're working on.
Reschedule lunch with your friend if you know you have a deadline for work.
Everyone always wishes for more time in the day.
That's not going to happen, so instead manage the activities you engage yourself in carefully.
Make sure your wheel of life is balanced, and that you are balanced when you serve in your other roles.
Other times I consider myself to be a socialite, going out and about with my friends every chance I can get.
There are other times in my life when I consider myself to be a loner, wanting to seclude myself at home and do nothing.
And then there are times when I consider myself to be a frequent traveler, going on vacations at least once a month.
When people ask me the all time famous question, "What do you do?" I know what they are really asking me is what my career is.
But the truth is I do a lot of things.
I'm a daughter to my mother; I'm a sister to my brothers; I'm an aunt to my nephews and niece; I'm a friend to many; I'm a colleague to others; I'm an employee to some; I'm a boss to others; I'm a professor to my students; and I'm a career coach to my clients.
Each of these roles I play in life define what I do, because in each of them I do something different.
These are just the roles I play in other people's lives, but I also have different areas of my personal life.
Many life coaches, including myself, work with clients in eight main areas-- or domains -- of someone's life.
These areas are: family and friends, finances, romantic relationships, extra-curricular activities and fun, career, spirituality, health, and personal development and growth.
So let's just get a clear picture here.
Not only do each of us have eight different areas of our own personal lives, but we also play numerous roles in other people's lives.
Imagine each of the eight areas and the different roles you plan piled up on your back, as if you're giving all of them a piggyback ride all at once.
That's usually what it feels like for most people.
It's heavy weight.
All of your affiliations lead to commitments and obligations.
They clutter your mind and make you feel tired just even thinking about it all.
STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELF! IT'S DRAINING YOU! Start with your own eight areas of life and find a balance there.
When I first heard this advice, I thought that I could never do it because that would be the selfish thing to do.
But then I realized that when I felt drained in my own eight areas of life, it was difficult to play the roles that I do in the lives of others.
When I feel balanced in my own life, I'm a better professor.
I'm more present with my students.
I am my true positive and helpful self.
No matter how trying a student might become, my balanced self deals with the situation so that both the student and I learn from each other.
In my self balanced state I've created new and engaging ways to teach my students.
When I'm not balanced in my life, it not so easy to do.
The first thing I do to create balance in my life is rate each of the eight areas in my life on a scale from one to ten, one being the lowest and ten being the highest.
If one area is lacking, I know that's negatively impacting the other seven areas of my life.
Then I work on improving that area, so all of the eight areas are balanced.
Once I'm balanced personally, I make sure I maintain it and then filter in the other roles I serve with other people.
Some of these roles, as I'm sure you've noticed by now, intertwine with the eight areas of my own personal life.
The key is to mix up your activities so that you're not focusing too much attention to one particular area of your personal life and one particular role you serve in the lives of others.
A great example of doing this would be my activities from a recent week.
I worked on my career coaching business.
I worked on some professor responsibilities that had been lingering on my to do list.
I went out with my friends to watch a basketball game.
I cooked dinner and spent time with my family.
I met new friends and did a variety of activities like painting pottery, making chocolate, having lunch, and then going out to dinner.
It was a very balanced week.
But you must also learn how to say, "no.
" Do not sign up for extra projects at work, if you know you do not have the time to include them in the many other projects you're working on.
Reschedule lunch with your friend if you know you have a deadline for work.
Everyone always wishes for more time in the day.
That's not going to happen, so instead manage the activities you engage yourself in carefully.
Make sure your wheel of life is balanced, and that you are balanced when you serve in your other roles.
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