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A Truly False Interview - General Petraeus

The outdoor terracein the middle of Baghdad where I met General Petraeus was busy and noisy.
He was by himself eating a plate of small kebabs and some sammoons, the tasty Iraqi bread,accompanied by a glass of Iraqi beer.
The restaurant and the entire district was crowded with people shopping, talking a walk and drinking coffee in the many bars in the area.
Not one soldier was in sight, which was a welcoming thing.
Things have indeed changed.
"General, in a nutshell tell me how this peace and tranquility have been achieved" He took a bite of the last piece of veal in the kebab and replied: "You heard our President.
The surge, man, the surge!" "Yes, we all know that, but what the hell is a surge? It is not a military term.
I do not recall Julius Caesar or Napoleon instituting a surge.
Please explain.
" "It is a simple strategy.
Instead of waiting for the insurgents to come andblast you, you just invade their neighborhoods, have the troops smile to everyone and shoot those who do not smiled back.
In military terms it is a large contingent of troops deployed in a hostile area in such manner that the enemies have no place to move and don't even have roof tops where to hang their laundry.
It is plain involvement under pre-established surface acquisition and control.
That simple!" "What are you eating General?" "The usual.
Keep in mind that Iraqi is a very old country and its food is rich and varied.
It uses many spices that are typical of Arabic cooking, such as oregano, nutmeg, saffron and mint.
You must try the preferred dishes that are prepared using lamb, beef, goat, mutton and poultry; forget about the bacon in bacon and eggs, and pork chops; Muslims do not eat pork or pork products.
" He paused to pour more beer in my glass and push the plate with samoons bread and goat cheese in my direction.
Then he continued; 'The combination of vegetables and rice are also part of most menus.
They produce two varieties of rice: amber rice in the north, and neggaza in the south.
Then you have the popular kebabs, which are skewered chunks of grilled meat, onion and peppers.
Something you should not miss is quzi, which is roasted and stuffed lamb; and kubba, which is minced meat with nuts, raisins and spices.
Masgouf is a special dish that is made from fish that live in the Tigris river and tastes like perch with a trace of salmon.
Another popular dish is tripe, a dish made of cow's stomach that might sound too adventurous but it is a true delight.
Then, as you can see, samoons bread is always served with meals.
" "Gee, General I did not know that you were an expert on Iraqi cooking!" He smiled with that enticing open eye look and said: "When I retire, we plan to open a restaurant in Alexandria specializing in Middle Eastern cooking.
That is the best retirement we can hope to have!" "Who is 'we', General" "I can not say.
But I'll give you a hint: he is the greatest promoter of the surge!"
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