Writing a Family Memoir The Road Home When he turned eighteen on December 10, 1942, Andrew knew his draft notice would soon follow.
It arrived seven days later on December 17.
His brother Frank, who was older by eighteen months, had already shipped out.
The two brothers were stationed in different parts of the world, Andrew mostly in occupied Italy with the 135th Military Police Company, and Frank in the Pacific region as part of Merrill's Marauders.
As the war raged on they never communicated directly, hearing only snippets of information about each other when letters arrived from home.
Unlike many families, theirs did not suffer the ultimate loss.
They both survived the war.
Andrew received his Honorable Discharge on December 28, 1945.
Still not sure of the exact whereabouts of his brother, he made his way to his sister's house in New York City.
In a circumstance that seemed written for a movie, Frank's discharge date had been just days before his brother's and they both arrived home on the same day.
I never tired of hearing the story of that celebration.
After the war Andrew settled into life with his uncle, aunt and cousins in New Haven, Connecticut.
One day his cousin Josie came home from work and informed him she had volunteered him as a senior prom date for a girl in her office.
He was livid, insisting he had no desire to go on a blind date or, at age 23, to take anyone to her senior prom.
Josie urged him to at least meet the girl.
Reluctantly, he agreed and, to his surprise, he liked her enough to take her to her senior prom.
In fact, in October 1949, they wed.
Of course, he later acknowledged it was a good thing for both of them he had given in.
It was a good thing for me, too.
I was their second child.
Stories with those kinds of twists, turns and what-ifs are in every family.
We all know accounts of almost missed opportunities or we've heard stories about people in our families who observed or even played a part in the major events of the twentieth century.
It takes a little listening and asking a few questions to flesh out the accounts, but it's worth it.
The stories you gather are priceless and part of who you are.
And you will hear tales the most gifted fiction writer couldn't make up.
Where do I Start? Making the decision to start a family memoir or to compile a family history is exciting.
You remember sitting and listening with fascination to the adults in your life as they shared memories that made them laugh, sigh or caused a sad quiet to fall over the room.
It was like looking through a window into a time and place so different from your own.
It's equally fascinating to revisit those stories and put them down on paper.
Your next thoughts may be more practical.
Where do I start? Which stories should I include? How much do I need to write about dates and details? Are there some things I should leave out? Not to worry; you're hearing the editor that lives inside us all.
While he/she will serve a vital purpose later in the process, in the beginning you may need to ignore that voice.
The first thing to do is to just sit down and write.
Write about the first person that comes into your head.
This will make you remember other people and the stories you recall about them.
Before you know it, you'll be off and running with plenty of time to edit and reedit later.
As with any task, writing your family history will be easier if you break the big job down into smaller ones.
Which character will you focus on first? What particular story about him/her made an impression on you? What lessons did you take away from your time with that person? When you ask these questions the story begins to tell itself.
There's no need to get bogged down with how it should sound, either.
This is another matter for rewrites.
The more time you spend writing, the more comfortable you'll become.
It may be years since you sat down to write something of any length, but it will come back to you.
Of course you want your writing to be as eloquent as possible and grammatically correct.
After you've gathered the raw material for an account, you can be your own English teacher.
If you don't already have one, it's a good idea to get a grammar guide book.
There are several excellent ones on the market.
There are even online guides if you prefer a digital environment.
It's worth your time to do some research.
I've found The Blue Book of Grammar and Pronunciation by Jane Straus useful.
It's easy to use and has all the information you'll need to sharpen your skills.
How exact do you have to get about dates and places? The more detail you can include the more real and immediate your account will be.
Sights, sounds, names and dates allow the reader to picture himself in the world you're describing.
If you're not sure about some facts and there's someone you can ask, by all means make the time to do that.
With a little practice you'll become a skilled interviewer.
If it's your intention to publish your material for the public, you may also have to decide whether certain things will be included in your memoir at all.
Some stories will have uncomfortable or embarrassing parts.
Should you write them or skip them? Will everybody be pleased if you include them? It can be sticky and may require some effort to tell the truth and still respect the dignity of all involved.
This is a skill that will come with experience, too.
For now, take a breath, jump in and enjoy the ride.
Happy writing!