I completely forgot about this tip until I spoke with my buddy, Sonia, a couple of days ago.
She mentioned that I had told her about something years ago and it changed the way she looks at life.
Of course, it did not make sense the first time.
Before I bring out the tip - let's bring in Chess! Most Chess players have an Opening that they know very well and/or they usually win with or...
You get the idea! Sometimes we change or abandon the opening, either because we are tired of playing it or we just want something new or we are just looking for something more exciting.
Any other reason will do.
We may get clobbered with the new opening, but we stick with it...
sometimes for good or for bad.
A lesson here is that sometimes we look for things in the wrong places.
Another is that sometimes we miss things that are right in front of us because we are looking for the same things farther out, in unfamiliar places.
Back to life! My friend claims I had told her that when we want somebody to love, we look for somebody who will always be there.
Someone who is excited to see us.
Somebody who accepts us.
Somebody who is easy to talk to.
Somebody who does not force himself/herself on you when you need some space...
etc.
If we find a "stranger" who can fulfill these things, we are happy to be alive.
If the "stranger" sucks, we think: life is not worth living; I need another "stranger"; what's wrong with me; etc.
But if we took out the "stranger " requirement, we will find that there is a whole list of people who can give us almost all that we are looking for.
It may be parent(s), best friend, kids, grandparent(s), friend(s) , support group, church, or most surely, God! Most people have one or all of these "love-resources" that they do not tap into.
You cannot force people to love you.
You can only accept the love that is given to you freely.
Food for thought.