Don\'t Let Fighting Like Cats & Dogs be Causes Of Divorce
Have you ever had an occasion to watch a batch of kittens or puppies. Cute little devils aren\'t they? Chewing on each other\'s ears, playfully slapping each other around and chasing their tails. A little bit of friendly growling and gentle calling out now and then.
And then it happens. One of them takes it a bit too far. What was all fun and games has become a serious confrontation and a warning to back off. The fur is about to hit the fan. The situation has suddenly become volatile.
Does this description resemble you as a married couple? Is your turf being challenged more often than not? When one or the other\'s space is invaded to far it is the rule more than the exception for someone to come out swinging verbally and sometimes physically. It is only a matter of time until this kind of jostling will put someone in the hospital and someone in jail and/or divorce court.
It is a given, when couples are quarreling like cats and dogs, they are competing, not complimenting each other. They are destroying, not building. They are piling up the causes of divorce.
Contending does not benefit anyone. The outcomes are anything but positive. There is always more than one loser. The one is just not smart enough to realize it. He might win the battle, but he will almost always lose the war.
Quarreling will never cause peace, good feelings, closeness and intimacy. It will lead to retaliation, hard feelings, anger, bitterness and sooner or later someone getting more than their feelings bruised.Â
Expectations are the cause for contention and explosive situations. It is easy to expect great things from our spouse because we care about them. But when those expectations take away someones individuality and agency they have become destructive to not only the person but the relationship. The very thing sought for has vanished into a hail of verbal assaults and maybe much more.
It is not without reason cops hate to go out on domestic disputes. It is their job, but most of them care enough to help you save your marriage and your futures.
Have you noticed when the red flag went up in puppy battles, the situation is not pushed any further. The whole thing is diffused as fast as it was lit. Within minutes they are back to being best buds and falling to sleep in each other\'s tangled legs or getting another meal from mother.
I find it interesting our four legged friends have no expectations of each other, other than to be left alone when the choose to be left alone. I have noticed almost always that expectation is honored and respected.
I think we as mankind can something from our animal friends. Instead of striking out at each other take a time out. Give each other the same respect and space we ourselves demand.
Realize this, we each have a right to our point of view. Someone else\'s opinion is no more valid than our own.
I have just as much right to tap my fingers as you have not to. If my finger tapping is an annoyance to you does your annoyance take predominance over my desire to tap away? No it does not. Your desire not to tap may be an annoyance to me. If my tapping is annoying you, remove yourself from my area. I should not have to stop or relocate to stop bothering you.
It is possible, if difficult to internalize this concept. It is simply a choice to be kind and loving and tolerant of each other and eliminate the causes of divorce from our relationships.
Have you ever had an occasion to watch a batch of kittens or puppies. Cute little devils aren\'t they? Chewing on each other\'s ears, playfully slapping each other around and chasing their tails. A little bit of friendly growling and gentle calling out now and then.
And then it happens. One of them takes it a bit too far. What was all fun and games has become a serious confrontation and a warning to back off. The fur is about to hit the fan. The situation has suddenly become volatile.
Does this description resemble you as a married couple? Is your turf being challenged more often than not? When one or the other\'s space is invaded to far it is the rule more than the exception for someone to come out swinging verbally and sometimes physically. It is only a matter of time until this kind of jostling will put someone in the hospital and someone in jail and/or divorce court.
It is a given, when couples are quarreling like cats and dogs, they are competing, not complimenting each other. They are destroying, not building. They are piling up the causes of divorce.
Contending does not benefit anyone. The outcomes are anything but positive. There is always more than one loser. The one is just not smart enough to realize it. He might win the battle, but he will almost always lose the war.
Quarreling will never cause peace, good feelings, closeness and intimacy. It will lead to retaliation, hard feelings, anger, bitterness and sooner or later someone getting more than their feelings bruised.Â
Expectations are the cause for contention and explosive situations. It is easy to expect great things from our spouse because we care about them. But when those expectations take away someones individuality and agency they have become destructive to not only the person but the relationship. The very thing sought for has vanished into a hail of verbal assaults and maybe much more.
It is not without reason cops hate to go out on domestic disputes. It is their job, but most of them care enough to help you save your marriage and your futures.
Have you noticed when the red flag went up in puppy battles, the situation is not pushed any further. The whole thing is diffused as fast as it was lit. Within minutes they are back to being best buds and falling to sleep in each other\'s tangled legs or getting another meal from mother.
I find it interesting our four legged friends have no expectations of each other, other than to be left alone when the choose to be left alone. I have noticed almost always that expectation is honored and respected.
I think we as mankind can something from our animal friends. Instead of striking out at each other take a time out. Give each other the same respect and space we ourselves demand.
Realize this, we each have a right to our point of view. Someone else\'s opinion is no more valid than our own.
I have just as much right to tap my fingers as you have not to. If my finger tapping is an annoyance to you does your annoyance take predominance over my desire to tap away? No it does not. Your desire not to tap may be an annoyance to me. If my tapping is annoying you, remove yourself from my area. I should not have to stop or relocate to stop bothering you.
It is possible, if difficult to internalize this concept. It is simply a choice to be kind and loving and tolerant of each other and eliminate the causes of divorce from our relationships.
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