Do you often criticize yourself for not getting enough done? Are you typically more frustrated with yourself at all the things you haven't done that you wanted to do, than content with all you have accomplished? If you can relate then read on...
The other day, I was talking to one of my oldest friends.
We have known each other since we were 15 - enough said! And, quite frankly, I was explaining how I was in a bit of a funk.
I said that I could not seem to get out of my own way and was not doing enough.
My friend, the wise woman that she is, proceeded to ask me a few questions.
First, she asked me what I had done that day.
It happened to be Father's Day and I explained that I had made brunch for my new husband and a combination of our kids accommodating everyone's eating requirements from vegan to meat eaters (yes the kids all helped a little).
The brunch included a frittata, french toast, gluten free waffles, and fruit salad.
Then I told her that I had finished up my third week of the "Insanity" workout program.
I also had walked my dog in the woods, washed the dog (who had gotten covered in mud) and did a few loads of laundry.
Not that much I thought.
I had not made the business calls I had wanted to, written emails, listened to various classes I was behind on and I felt like I was failing.
And, to put it simply, I felt flat.
My friend (she is also called Deborah...
) proceeded to explain that I totally underestimated the value of making the people I love feel taken care of and valued.
She gave me permission to be OK with being a mum and a wife and a person who works hard to take care of my now extended family.
She told me to take credit for all the things I do, not just the "work" side.
I believe, with all my heart, that we need to have the varied aspects of our lives to work out (and be in some sort of balance) in order to be fully complete.
But, it is easy to get caught up in the preconceived ideas of what we "should" be doing, and thus wind up out of balance.
What ends up happening, as in my case, is that we ignore the value of what we are providing - whether it is at home, at work or in our relationships.
With my friend's input, I looked back at what I HAD accomplished that day and in my previous week in a different light.
Sure, some things did not get done: but, other more important items took their place.
In reality, last week was an example of the "dance of my life" and in every moment I shifted priorities to suit the occasion, need or requirement.
To me, the lesson here is not to look at things in black/white, good/bad or happy/sad, but to learn to be fluid and in the moment, and to let go of the frustration of willing things into a perfect vision of what you WANT your life to look like.
I can now look back on my week and see that I: 1) did all the business things I needed to; 2) provided for my family the way they needed me to; 3) was a sassy wife: 4) exercised 6 out of 7 days, meeting my Insanity commitments; and 5) walked my dog every day there was no rain.
When I look back at last week with a different lens, I truly can be proud, and not feel like I need to beat myself up for what I did not accomplish.
In reframing last week in my mind, I start this week with a real positive energy, which I know will propel me much further than the frustration I was feeling only yesterday (I am writing this on a Monday).
So, I invite you to do the same...
Look at your accomplishments and realize their value as well as the effect they have on those around you.
Nothing you do is too small to be recognized.
I believe that this reframing can change you on a cellular level.
It is the small shifts such as this simple exercise that truly make the difference.
I invite you to join me on ditching frustration and reframing your accomplishments.
Are you in?
The other day, I was talking to one of my oldest friends.
We have known each other since we were 15 - enough said! And, quite frankly, I was explaining how I was in a bit of a funk.
I said that I could not seem to get out of my own way and was not doing enough.
My friend, the wise woman that she is, proceeded to ask me a few questions.
First, she asked me what I had done that day.
It happened to be Father's Day and I explained that I had made brunch for my new husband and a combination of our kids accommodating everyone's eating requirements from vegan to meat eaters (yes the kids all helped a little).
The brunch included a frittata, french toast, gluten free waffles, and fruit salad.
Then I told her that I had finished up my third week of the "Insanity" workout program.
I also had walked my dog in the woods, washed the dog (who had gotten covered in mud) and did a few loads of laundry.
Not that much I thought.
I had not made the business calls I had wanted to, written emails, listened to various classes I was behind on and I felt like I was failing.
And, to put it simply, I felt flat.
My friend (she is also called Deborah...
) proceeded to explain that I totally underestimated the value of making the people I love feel taken care of and valued.
She gave me permission to be OK with being a mum and a wife and a person who works hard to take care of my now extended family.
She told me to take credit for all the things I do, not just the "work" side.
I believe, with all my heart, that we need to have the varied aspects of our lives to work out (and be in some sort of balance) in order to be fully complete.
But, it is easy to get caught up in the preconceived ideas of what we "should" be doing, and thus wind up out of balance.
What ends up happening, as in my case, is that we ignore the value of what we are providing - whether it is at home, at work or in our relationships.
With my friend's input, I looked back at what I HAD accomplished that day and in my previous week in a different light.
Sure, some things did not get done: but, other more important items took their place.
In reality, last week was an example of the "dance of my life" and in every moment I shifted priorities to suit the occasion, need or requirement.
To me, the lesson here is not to look at things in black/white, good/bad or happy/sad, but to learn to be fluid and in the moment, and to let go of the frustration of willing things into a perfect vision of what you WANT your life to look like.
I can now look back on my week and see that I: 1) did all the business things I needed to; 2) provided for my family the way they needed me to; 3) was a sassy wife: 4) exercised 6 out of 7 days, meeting my Insanity commitments; and 5) walked my dog every day there was no rain.
When I look back at last week with a different lens, I truly can be proud, and not feel like I need to beat myself up for what I did not accomplish.
In reframing last week in my mind, I start this week with a real positive energy, which I know will propel me much further than the frustration I was feeling only yesterday (I am writing this on a Monday).
So, I invite you to do the same...
Look at your accomplishments and realize their value as well as the effect they have on those around you.
Nothing you do is too small to be recognized.
I believe that this reframing can change you on a cellular level.
It is the small shifts such as this simple exercise that truly make the difference.
I invite you to join me on ditching frustration and reframing your accomplishments.
Are you in?
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