Listen

• When abuse occurs, listen to the victim's story. Try not to interrupt with possible solutions. Allow the victim to share her pain and details of the verbal and emotional abuse. Listening gives you the information you need to know specifically how to proceed and shows proper concern for the abuse victim.
  
  

Show Compassion

• Provide comfort for the abuse victim as he shares. Maintain eye contact as he talks, and give understanding feedback. A victim of verbal or emotional abuse in a marriage needs an arm around the shoulder, a hug and empathetic words of support.
  
  

Confront

• Contact the offender in the marriage directly after meeting with the victim. In a church setting, the pastor and an elder or other staff member may be the proper individuals to make this call. Meet with the two together, and be direct in addressing the abuse. In severe cases where you fear the abuse may cross over into the physical, contact necessary authorities.
  
  

Separate If Necessary

• Encourage the abuse victim to separate herself from her husband if he continues the abuse. Support her by offering a place to stay at a willing church member's home. Stand firm in supporting her in not returning to her husband until he shows genuine contrition and the desire for help.
  
  

Encourage Counseling

• Help provide counseling for the couple. The pastor may provide this type of service. However, the church should be prepared, if necessary, to help finance professional marriage counseling for the couple. Have a list of ministries that provide help in abusive situations. Follow up with the couple to ensure they are attending the counseling, and monitor how they are doing.
  
  

Pray

• Pray and encourage other church members to pray for couples who struggle with emotional or verbal abuse. Pray with the couple when meeting, and let them both know you and others will be praying for them on a consistent basis.