If you have love, you don't need anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have.
~Sir James M.
Barrie.
I was troubled.
I was in an all too familiar place where I was forgetting my training and letting the stress that I was feeling slowly creep in and erode my confidence.
It was starting to get the best of me, and I knew it, but I didn't know how to get out of it, until I stopped trying to know all the answers, and had more faith in my ability to ask the right questions and listen to the answer.
Let me explain.
We've all been there.
Submerged in a quicksand of doubt, nose sticking up out of the sand, sucking in that last lung full of air thinking that this is it, I'm done for.
Then, out of desperation, we do something that we wouldn't normally do: we raise a hand to ask for help.
And help comes in the most unexpected of ways.
I climbed into bed Tuesday night, troubled by the fact that my projects weren't coming together the way they should have.
If this kept up, then I was going to have a hard time meeting payroll and paying some fairly important bills.
I kept searching and questioning myself to see what I could have done differently, but I kept coming up with nothing.
Then a spark of energy ignited in the back of my mind.
It was so sudden that I sat bolt upright.
It sounded like a conversation that I was having with someone, and it was very demanding that I follow the advice.
"What answers do you want?" it said.
"Write your questions down in your journal tonight before you go to sleep.
" Curiously, that's all it said.
I sat for a while and thought about it, and asked myself "What do I really want answers for that will make a difference in who I am and what I do?" When I had settled on what I wanted to know, I got out my journal and wrote my questions:
I sat there for a while and studied my questions, and I felt good about them.
I closed the book, and for the first time in weeks, I slept soundly...
until the dream happened.
I dreamt that I was opening a small fish business, and it was in my garage.
I spent the whole day cleaning the place up and varnishing the floors for the opening party.
As the party was going on, I was making a point to talk to everyone when I noticed an old woman standing in the door beckoning to me, her face shrouded in shadow with a very bright light shining from all around her.
When I got close to her, I saw that it was my Grandmother who had died 2 years ago.
She was just as I remember her from when I lived with her for a summer back in the early 70's.
She walked up to me and hugged me, and wouldn't let go.
It was one of those Grandmotherly hugs that I loved to get: the ones where you just knew, without any words that you were loved.
In my dream I could smell her, and I could actually feel her warmth.
I could feel her hair blowing on my cheek, and I could actually feel how happy she seemed to be.
Then in my ear, she whispered "The answers to your questions are within you.
There is no real secret to being a successful business person or living a successful life except this: Just love people:your customers and your employees.
Remember it's not about you, it's about them.
Remember to have faith in these words and you'll always know what to do.
" Then she stood back.
Placed both hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes for the longest time, and then she was gone.
Vanished.
I awoke with a start, jumped out of bed and wrote the dream down so I would never forget it.
Love the people.
Could it really be that simple?Was this the answer to my questions? Was this going to relieve me of my stress? I have been immersed in thinking about that message all week.
Just love your customers.
It's not about me, it's about them.
What did that mean? Then it hit me.
I had been so busy thinking about paying the bills and making sales that I had forgotten about the people that I was churning through along the way.
The more I thought about me, the less I was thinking about the other people in my life.
If I was focusing all of my attention on myself, then how could I ever notice that I was neglecting to give people what they really needed? Love and recognition, that was the simple answer, but it took a crisis for me to discover it.
That was Tuesday night.
The rest of the week I consciously applied what I had learned: I listened harder, I smiled more, I encouraged more and I took the time to get to know people better and as promised, things started to turn out OK and since that "conversation" I have not been worried or felt any anxiety at all.
What about you?Are there things weighing you down that are affecting your performance or your relationships?Are you willing to ask the hard questions and wait for the answer? If so, when you get your answer, are you willing to do something about it?Are you willing to step out of your "You" focus and turn it outward if it will bring you peace and success? You've absolutely nothing to lose if you try it, because when you show love to someone, it can only come back as the same.
Go for it! Paul
~Sir James M.
Barrie.
I was troubled.
I was in an all too familiar place where I was forgetting my training and letting the stress that I was feeling slowly creep in and erode my confidence.
It was starting to get the best of me, and I knew it, but I didn't know how to get out of it, until I stopped trying to know all the answers, and had more faith in my ability to ask the right questions and listen to the answer.
Let me explain.
We've all been there.
Submerged in a quicksand of doubt, nose sticking up out of the sand, sucking in that last lung full of air thinking that this is it, I'm done for.
Then, out of desperation, we do something that we wouldn't normally do: we raise a hand to ask for help.
And help comes in the most unexpected of ways.
I climbed into bed Tuesday night, troubled by the fact that my projects weren't coming together the way they should have.
If this kept up, then I was going to have a hard time meeting payroll and paying some fairly important bills.
I kept searching and questioning myself to see what I could have done differently, but I kept coming up with nothing.
Then a spark of energy ignited in the back of my mind.
It was so sudden that I sat bolt upright.
It sounded like a conversation that I was having with someone, and it was very demanding that I follow the advice.
"What answers do you want?" it said.
"Write your questions down in your journal tonight before you go to sleep.
" Curiously, that's all it said.
I sat for a while and thought about it, and asked myself "What do I really want answers for that will make a difference in who I am and what I do?" When I had settled on what I wanted to know, I got out my journal and wrote my questions:
- Can you show me how to a more effective marketer and salesperson?
- What must I do or be to be a better manager?
- How can I grow in wisdom and understanding?
I sat there for a while and studied my questions, and I felt good about them.
I closed the book, and for the first time in weeks, I slept soundly...
until the dream happened.
I dreamt that I was opening a small fish business, and it was in my garage.
I spent the whole day cleaning the place up and varnishing the floors for the opening party.
As the party was going on, I was making a point to talk to everyone when I noticed an old woman standing in the door beckoning to me, her face shrouded in shadow with a very bright light shining from all around her.
When I got close to her, I saw that it was my Grandmother who had died 2 years ago.
She was just as I remember her from when I lived with her for a summer back in the early 70's.
She walked up to me and hugged me, and wouldn't let go.
It was one of those Grandmotherly hugs that I loved to get: the ones where you just knew, without any words that you were loved.
In my dream I could smell her, and I could actually feel her warmth.
I could feel her hair blowing on my cheek, and I could actually feel how happy she seemed to be.
Then in my ear, she whispered "The answers to your questions are within you.
There is no real secret to being a successful business person or living a successful life except this: Just love people:your customers and your employees.
Remember it's not about you, it's about them.
Remember to have faith in these words and you'll always know what to do.
" Then she stood back.
Placed both hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes for the longest time, and then she was gone.
Vanished.
I awoke with a start, jumped out of bed and wrote the dream down so I would never forget it.
Love the people.
Could it really be that simple?Was this the answer to my questions? Was this going to relieve me of my stress? I have been immersed in thinking about that message all week.
Just love your customers.
It's not about me, it's about them.
What did that mean? Then it hit me.
I had been so busy thinking about paying the bills and making sales that I had forgotten about the people that I was churning through along the way.
The more I thought about me, the less I was thinking about the other people in my life.
If I was focusing all of my attention on myself, then how could I ever notice that I was neglecting to give people what they really needed? Love and recognition, that was the simple answer, but it took a crisis for me to discover it.
That was Tuesday night.
The rest of the week I consciously applied what I had learned: I listened harder, I smiled more, I encouraged more and I took the time to get to know people better and as promised, things started to turn out OK and since that "conversation" I have not been worried or felt any anxiety at all.
What about you?Are there things weighing you down that are affecting your performance or your relationships?Are you willing to ask the hard questions and wait for the answer? If so, when you get your answer, are you willing to do something about it?Are you willing to step out of your "You" focus and turn it outward if it will bring you peace and success? You've absolutely nothing to lose if you try it, because when you show love to someone, it can only come back as the same.
Go for it! Paul
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