So, you're at a party, and you meet a cute guy or girl whom you find quite intriguing. Maybe you talk a little about what you do, who you're there with, and other meaningless little things. But then there's always that terrifying moment when there's a break in the conversation and your mind goes blank. You start to panic, and the more panicky you feel, the more tongue-tied you become. Now might be your only chance to connect to this person, and as you feel yourself beginning to crash and burn, your confidence sinks and you begin to think that maybe parties aren't for you.
If you know this feeling, you're not alone. Nearly everyone gets tongue tied from time to time in these situations. The important part is how you respond. Don't panic. Keep these reliable conversation moves in mind, and you'll be fine.
1. Flattery: Take a quick, non-creepy glance at the person's hair and clothes, and come up with a compliment. Shoes are always a good feature to comment upon, or any article of clothing, really. If the person is a female, take special notice of any of her accessories€"earrings, rings, bracelets, and so on. If you notice and compliment her on these things, you'll earn big points while keeping the conversation going.
A word of warning: While flattery is great, you don't want to go too far. If you're just meeting someone, make sure your compliment has no uncomfortable sexual connotations.
2. Food and beverage: Is the person nursing an interesting beverage€"say, a glass of wine? Ask how he or she likes it. It's not the most interesting thing in the world, but parties do give us a chance to drink things that we don't normally drink, so it's a fun thing to talk about. Also, if there's any food at the party, you can give recommendations, or ask what's good.
3. Questions: Asking questions can be quite tricky. On one hand, you don't want to ask questions that are too open-ended; for example, €What do you do for fun?€ is usually more annoying than interesting. But you also don't want to ask simple yes-or-no questions. Try to find a middle ground. For example, you can the person about things like her neighborhood, whether she has pets, if she plays any sports, what she did this past weekend, or if she's planning to do anything for an upcoming holiday.
One important note, however: If, for example, you ask the person whether she has any pets and she give a quick €no,€ don't hammer on this point. Say something understanding and light-hearted, and quickly move on to a different topic. Otherwise, you risk making her feel boring.
4. Listen very closely: Although this moment can be a little bit anxiety-causing, it's important to relax and just enjoy conversing with an interesting new person. In other words, when the person is talking to you, be sure to listen to what he's actually saying. Don't just be worried about what he's going to say next. If you listen closely, this usually suggests where the conversation should go next. Ask follow-up questions, and don't be afraid to talk about yourself a little.
If you know this feeling, you're not alone. Nearly everyone gets tongue tied from time to time in these situations. The important part is how you respond. Don't panic. Keep these reliable conversation moves in mind, and you'll be fine.
1. Flattery: Take a quick, non-creepy glance at the person's hair and clothes, and come up with a compliment. Shoes are always a good feature to comment upon, or any article of clothing, really. If the person is a female, take special notice of any of her accessories€"earrings, rings, bracelets, and so on. If you notice and compliment her on these things, you'll earn big points while keeping the conversation going.
A word of warning: While flattery is great, you don't want to go too far. If you're just meeting someone, make sure your compliment has no uncomfortable sexual connotations.
2. Food and beverage: Is the person nursing an interesting beverage€"say, a glass of wine? Ask how he or she likes it. It's not the most interesting thing in the world, but parties do give us a chance to drink things that we don't normally drink, so it's a fun thing to talk about. Also, if there's any food at the party, you can give recommendations, or ask what's good.
3. Questions: Asking questions can be quite tricky. On one hand, you don't want to ask questions that are too open-ended; for example, €What do you do for fun?€ is usually more annoying than interesting. But you also don't want to ask simple yes-or-no questions. Try to find a middle ground. For example, you can the person about things like her neighborhood, whether she has pets, if she plays any sports, what she did this past weekend, or if she's planning to do anything for an upcoming holiday.
One important note, however: If, for example, you ask the person whether she has any pets and she give a quick €no,€ don't hammer on this point. Say something understanding and light-hearted, and quickly move on to a different topic. Otherwise, you risk making her feel boring.
4. Listen very closely: Although this moment can be a little bit anxiety-causing, it's important to relax and just enjoy conversing with an interesting new person. In other words, when the person is talking to you, be sure to listen to what he's actually saying. Don't just be worried about what he's going to say next. If you listen closely, this usually suggests where the conversation should go next. Ask follow-up questions, and don't be afraid to talk about yourself a little.
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