You probably know what the signs are so I won't go into that here.
And maybe it doesn't even matter exactly what has happened.
It certainly does no good to blame anyone.
The point is, you are not happy, your spouse is not happy and you may very well be staring at a separation or divorce.
If there are signs your marriage is failing and you want to save it, then this article may be the most important thing you ever read.
A number of years ago, my wife came to me and told me that the marriage wasn't working and that she wanted me to move out.
I was completely shocked at this news and unprepared to deal with it.
I still loved her very much, I didn't want the marriage to end and I was desperate to do something.
I proceeded to really screw things up with my unprepared response.
I later learned after nearly getting divorced that there are a number of very common mistakes that people make when their spouses tell them they want to get divorced.
I was guilty of many of these myself and I speak from experience when I tell you they don't work:
You also surrender any power that you might still have in the relationship.
You actually push your spouse further away.
You will need to be willing to give 100% of yourself to saving your marriage.
Your response, your words and your actions during the next hours, days and weeks of this crisis will make or break the chance to avoid the divorce.
You will have to be in the proper emotional state to accomplish this.
And finally you will need a specific and proven action plan!
And maybe it doesn't even matter exactly what has happened.
It certainly does no good to blame anyone.
The point is, you are not happy, your spouse is not happy and you may very well be staring at a separation or divorce.
If there are signs your marriage is failing and you want to save it, then this article may be the most important thing you ever read.
A number of years ago, my wife came to me and told me that the marriage wasn't working and that she wanted me to move out.
I was completely shocked at this news and unprepared to deal with it.
I still loved her very much, I didn't want the marriage to end and I was desperate to do something.
I proceeded to really screw things up with my unprepared response.
I later learned after nearly getting divorced that there are a number of very common mistakes that people make when their spouses tell them they want to get divorced.
I was guilty of many of these myself and I speak from experience when I tell you they don't work:
- Crying, begging or pleading
- Anger or arguing
- Trying to make them feel guilty
- Making promises to change
- Constant phone calls, emails or text messages
- Threats
- Spying or accusations of infidelity
- Drinking or drugs to ease the pain
You also surrender any power that you might still have in the relationship.
You actually push your spouse further away.
You will need to be willing to give 100% of yourself to saving your marriage.
Your response, your words and your actions during the next hours, days and weeks of this crisis will make or break the chance to avoid the divorce.
You will have to be in the proper emotional state to accomplish this.
And finally you will need a specific and proven action plan!
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