Let's say I asked you to put a nail into a wall. Do you think you could do it?
Sure you could. if you had the right tool.
Now, let's say because I really like you, I really believe in you, and I really want to see you succeed because of all those reasons, I went out and with great expense and a lot of careful thought, I might add got you a very expensive, brand new, shiny red
Chainsaw.
Now, go ahead and put that nail in the wall. Okay?
"Okaaaaaaay," you're thinking to yourself. "I guess he knows what he's doing. After all, he's successful, so he must know how to put a nail into a wall, right?"
So you're hacking away with your shiny new red chainsaw.
How's it going?, I ask.
"Ummm, not so good," you reply.
What's the matter, I ask you.
You mumble something about how you're having a difficult time and you're struggling to get that nail in the wall. So I then exhort you and tell you all the things you should do to get that nail in the wall. After all, I was able to do it! So I give you lots of "helpful" advice like this
Set your goals!
Visualize it!
Believe in yourself!
Work smarter, not harder!
You can do it!
Now, what if I see that even after all my wonderful advice, you're STILL not getting that nail in the wall.
You want to take as much time off from this putting-the-nail-in-the-wall activity as you can, don't you?
You'll complain to others about how tough putting nails in walls is.
You'll badmouth me, your nail-putting-in manager, behind my back.
You'll take any excuse to not put nails in walls.
You'll take it out on your kids or your spouse when you get home.
Your mental and emotional health will suffer.
You'll look for ways to medicate and "veg out" like watching lots of TV or surfing the Internet, just to relieve the stress of putting nails in walls.
You'll always be looking for someplace else, someplace better to work.
All because I have not given you the right tool to do the job.
Do you see the real problem here?
The real problem is not that you are not able to do the job.
The real problem is that you are beating yourself up for not being able to do a job, when you have been given a tool that is completely unsuited for the job you're trying to do.
Sure you could. if you had the right tool.
Now, let's say because I really like you, I really believe in you, and I really want to see you succeed because of all those reasons, I went out and with great expense and a lot of careful thought, I might add got you a very expensive, brand new, shiny red
Chainsaw.
Now, go ahead and put that nail in the wall. Okay?
"Okaaaaaaay," you're thinking to yourself. "I guess he knows what he's doing. After all, he's successful, so he must know how to put a nail into a wall, right?"
So you're hacking away with your shiny new red chainsaw.
How's it going?, I ask.
"Ummm, not so good," you reply.
What's the matter, I ask you.
You mumble something about how you're having a difficult time and you're struggling to get that nail in the wall. So I then exhort you and tell you all the things you should do to get that nail in the wall. After all, I was able to do it! So I give you lots of "helpful" advice like this
Set your goals!
Visualize it!
Believe in yourself!
Work smarter, not harder!
You can do it!
Now, what if I see that even after all my wonderful advice, you're STILL not getting that nail in the wall.
You want to take as much time off from this putting-the-nail-in-the-wall activity as you can, don't you?
You'll complain to others about how tough putting nails in walls is.
You'll badmouth me, your nail-putting-in manager, behind my back.
You'll take any excuse to not put nails in walls.
You'll take it out on your kids or your spouse when you get home.
Your mental and emotional health will suffer.
You'll look for ways to medicate and "veg out" like watching lots of TV or surfing the Internet, just to relieve the stress of putting nails in walls.
You'll always be looking for someplace else, someplace better to work.
All because I have not given you the right tool to do the job.
Do you see the real problem here?
The real problem is not that you are not able to do the job.
The real problem is that you are beating yourself up for not being able to do a job, when you have been given a tool that is completely unsuited for the job you're trying to do.
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