Updated June 19, 2014.

No one wants to be the bearer of bad news, and sometimes couples struggle with how best to inform the people in their lives about a recent miscarriage or other pregnancy loss. Breaking the news might feel difficult if family and friends have been supportive of and excited about the pregnancy. Telling people about a miscarriage or stillbirth can also be challenging if you have a lot of people who need to be told.


Here are a few tips for how to get the job done efficiently.

• Keep it simple
  You don't have to give a lot of information about what happened. You can tell people, "We had a miscarriage. The doctor said it happens sometimes." Beyond that, share whatever information you are comfortable sharing.
  
• Don't be afraid to use email.
  If you have other children, you will probably want to talk to them in person. For other relatives, friends, or coworkers, you might find it less stressful to use a mass communication tool such as email. Sending one large email blast could save you stress compared to trying to tell everyone in person.
  
• Enlist a friend or relative to break the news.
  If you had a full-term stillbirth and have a lot of people waiting for news that they aren't aware will be bad, see if you have a friend or relative who might be willing to make the calls for you. Having someone else spread the word could take the pressure off of you so that you can take your time dealing with the news yourself.
  
• Let people know what you need.
  Your friends and relatives probably want to help, but they may not know how. When people offer to help, take them up on it and let them know what you need. Perhaps you might want them to watch your other children so you can have some time alone, or you might want your best friend to come over and sit with you so you can talk about your feelings. If people are trying to get you to talk but you do not feel ready, thank them for their concern but explain that you are not ready to talk about the loss.
  

• Be ready for comments and advice.
  Thoughtless, unintentionally hurtful comments are the bane of everyone who has had any kind of pregnancy loss. Be prepared that you may hear some or all of these comments from people in your life. Keep in mind that people rarely mean any harm when they say these things; they merely do not know what to say. Be ready to either smile and nod, or if you feel up to it, thank the person for his or her concern but calmly explain your feelings so that person will be more informed about pregnancy loss in the future.