Misconceptions

• You're beautiful, intelligent and sexy. So why would your husband cheat on you? In his book "The Truth About Cheating," marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman interviewed 200 cheating and non-cheating husbands. Forty-eight percent of the men said that not being understood and appreciated was their main reason for committing adultery.
  
  

Geography

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  So where do men find these women who are willing to commit an act of adultery with them? According to Neuman, 40 percent of them met the "other woman" at work. This woman praises him, compliments him and makes him feel appreciated. Sex has very little to do with it. However, sex has an important role. Through sex, the man expresses his love and builds a bond. It is his way of feeling close to the woman. You can be married for decades, but unless you discover the truth of what men really want and put it into action, your marriage will be an unhappy one.
  
  

Features

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  How can you tell that he is being unfaithful? The signs are there, and you need to be aware of them. While there are a number of possible signs (and you can read all of them at WomansDivorce.com), there are a few that stand out as universal: He comes home late frequently; communication between the two of you dwindles or stops altogether; and when he's home, he stays behind closed doors (possibly for the purpose of communicating through the Internet).
  
  

Expert Insight

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  So your husband had an affair. Shock, fear of loss and anger flooded your emotions. You have a choice now. You can leave him; legally, you have the right to do so. You also can forgive him and work on healing your marriage. You don't even need to wait until he asks for forgiveness. Forgiveness is more for you than him. If you do not forgive, you will be bitter, and that only hurts you. Forgiving him does not mean that you accept what he does. It says to him that you know he made a mistake and that you are willing to help him overcome it for the sake of your marriage.
  
  

Prevention/Solution

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  Can it happen again? Yes it can. Some research states that there is an 80 percent chance, while other data says it is only 15 to 20 percent. To avoid any possibility of it happening again in your marriage, keep your husband happy. As ancient as that sounds, you must realize that if the man is happy, he will reciprocate.