For most women, I believe its second nature for us to talk.
Whether we're in church, the beauty shop, or even work, we just love to talk.
Whether it's related to family, clothes, TV shows, men, and even other women, we're normally filled with our opinions on these hot topics.
While this is the case among women, however, in most cases it's the exact opposite with men, especially when it comes to married men talking with their wives.
"Married Men.
" Sometimes they're hard to figure out.
We often expect them to talk, and share their innermost feelings, hurts, and pains.
But what happens when they don't? It feels like a faucet that's stopped up.
As women, we're thirsty to hear, to share, to interact and feel loved by our husbands.
However, when our thirst is not quenched by meaningful conversation, it can leave us feeling lonely, hurt, rejected, and even unloved.
We begin to wonder, "Why won't he talk to me? I'm a good wife.
I cook.
I clean.
I take care of our kids.
How hard can it be for him to just...
talk?" As a married woman I can understand your pain.
While my husband and I have grown a lot in the area of communication, I still often wonder why men don't talk as freely as we do.
In fact, I've even questioned my husband and other married men about why it can be such a challenge for them to talk.
As a result, I learned some reasons why men refuse to talk to their wives: 1) He never learned how to communicate.
Is it possible that your husband never learned how to talk when he was growing up? Maybe his father wasn't in the home.
Or if his father was, it's possible that he never saw his parents communicate properly to one another.
It's even possible that he was told as a child NOT to express his feelings because it wasn't the "manly" thing to do.
If any of these situations describe your husband, then this can be a good indication as to why he doesn't communicate the way you prefer: It was never modeled for him growing up.
When one never sees an example, it's almost impossible to communicate effectively.
2) He's all talked out.
If your husband works with the public as mine does, he's been talking all day by the time he gets home from his job.
By the time hubby gets home, he's ready to do a few things, (none of which include talking): detox by watching TV, lying down, eating, or making love to you.
3) You talk too much.
A lot of times in our zeal to share our day or our feelings we fail to recognize when our husbands actually do try to talk to us.
In our excitement to share the events of our day, we miss cues, and we have so much to say that we're not showing a genuine interest in their responses.
This was often the case with me.
I love to talk and my husband doesn't talk as much especially when he's tired.
I would talk to him and ask him questions about work.
Often I would complain about my tough day, and when he tried to share his thoughts, I would get frustrated because I didn't want his input.
(While there are times when we just want them to listen, we must include them in our world because they're apart of us.
) Needless to say, my unwillingness to hear my husband caused him to shut down.
While you're ready to talk and share your heart with your husband he often wants to do the exact opposite.
For this reason, it's important to find creative ways to communicate with him such as: • Refusing to nag.
• Cooking (or buying) him a good meal.
• Handing him the remote.
• Looking and smelling good.
When you make the choice to do at least some of these things, (or whatever you know your husband prefers), you're on the path to communicating one big message: "I love you, I respect you, I appreciate you, and I value you as a man.
" This speaks volumes, if you can do these things on a consistent basis, with the right attitude, and pray that God will show you the right opportunities to talk, over time your husband could make the decision to talk to you.
While it's easier for us as women to talk, share, and open our hearts, it's important to learn creative ways for communicating with your husband.
In turn, doing these things can set the atmosphere for him to open up and talk to you one step at a time.
Whether we're in church, the beauty shop, or even work, we just love to talk.
Whether it's related to family, clothes, TV shows, men, and even other women, we're normally filled with our opinions on these hot topics.
While this is the case among women, however, in most cases it's the exact opposite with men, especially when it comes to married men talking with their wives.
"Married Men.
" Sometimes they're hard to figure out.
We often expect them to talk, and share their innermost feelings, hurts, and pains.
But what happens when they don't? It feels like a faucet that's stopped up.
As women, we're thirsty to hear, to share, to interact and feel loved by our husbands.
However, when our thirst is not quenched by meaningful conversation, it can leave us feeling lonely, hurt, rejected, and even unloved.
We begin to wonder, "Why won't he talk to me? I'm a good wife.
I cook.
I clean.
I take care of our kids.
How hard can it be for him to just...
talk?" As a married woman I can understand your pain.
While my husband and I have grown a lot in the area of communication, I still often wonder why men don't talk as freely as we do.
In fact, I've even questioned my husband and other married men about why it can be such a challenge for them to talk.
As a result, I learned some reasons why men refuse to talk to their wives: 1) He never learned how to communicate.
Is it possible that your husband never learned how to talk when he was growing up? Maybe his father wasn't in the home.
Or if his father was, it's possible that he never saw his parents communicate properly to one another.
It's even possible that he was told as a child NOT to express his feelings because it wasn't the "manly" thing to do.
If any of these situations describe your husband, then this can be a good indication as to why he doesn't communicate the way you prefer: It was never modeled for him growing up.
When one never sees an example, it's almost impossible to communicate effectively.
2) He's all talked out.
If your husband works with the public as mine does, he's been talking all day by the time he gets home from his job.
By the time hubby gets home, he's ready to do a few things, (none of which include talking): detox by watching TV, lying down, eating, or making love to you.
3) You talk too much.
A lot of times in our zeal to share our day or our feelings we fail to recognize when our husbands actually do try to talk to us.
In our excitement to share the events of our day, we miss cues, and we have so much to say that we're not showing a genuine interest in their responses.
This was often the case with me.
I love to talk and my husband doesn't talk as much especially when he's tired.
I would talk to him and ask him questions about work.
Often I would complain about my tough day, and when he tried to share his thoughts, I would get frustrated because I didn't want his input.
(While there are times when we just want them to listen, we must include them in our world because they're apart of us.
) Needless to say, my unwillingness to hear my husband caused him to shut down.
While you're ready to talk and share your heart with your husband he often wants to do the exact opposite.
For this reason, it's important to find creative ways to communicate with him such as: • Refusing to nag.
• Cooking (or buying) him a good meal.
• Handing him the remote.
• Looking and smelling good.
When you make the choice to do at least some of these things, (or whatever you know your husband prefers), you're on the path to communicating one big message: "I love you, I respect you, I appreciate you, and I value you as a man.
" This speaks volumes, if you can do these things on a consistent basis, with the right attitude, and pray that God will show you the right opportunities to talk, over time your husband could make the decision to talk to you.
While it's easier for us as women to talk, share, and open our hearts, it's important to learn creative ways for communicating with your husband.
In turn, doing these things can set the atmosphere for him to open up and talk to you one step at a time.
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