- 1). Communicate with your wife through the separation. Listen to her cues. If she expresses the need to to be left alone, giver her some space. After all, a separation is meant to give you both space to think about your relationship. Tell her how you feel and what you would like to see happen to your relationship. Talk about what you each think went wrong with your relationship.
- 2). Seek counseling to help you dig to the bottom of the problem. If you can get your wife to go with you, the sessions can be more productive because the counselor gets input from you both. However, if she is unwilling to go or wants to go by herself, keep your own appointments. Counseling gives you good insight into yourself and can help you learn to remedy the problems in your marriage.
- 3). Ask your wife out on a date. Often, the lack of romance is a contributing factor to separations. Show her why she fell in love with you in the first place. Take her out to her favorite restaurant or go to a movie. Act like it is a new relationship: hold doors for her, pay her way and speak respectfully.
- 4). Send her flowers and other small trinkets to show her that you love her. However, don't overdo these gestures of love, because you don't want her to think you are trying to buy her back. Instead, spread these items out. For instance, send her flowers after a date to let her know you had a good time and have been thinking of her.
- 5). Get professional help for any of the major issues that you contributed to the marriage. For example, if you have a drinking problem, sign up for Alcoholics Anonymous or another support group and work through the program. If you had anger issues or a mental health issue, see a psychologist or psychiatrist and follow his recommendations. Show your wife that you are willing to work on yourself to improve the marriage.
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