Saving your marriage doesn't have to be difficult.
The problems many of us face is the constant defeating of ourselves while trying to do it.
How frustrating it must seem to make a little bit of progress or gain a little headway only to have it fall to pieces over and over.
That's why you must get this right first if you're going to save your marriage.
The first thing I'd like you to wrap your head around is the fact that you are in the midst of a psychological war zone so to speak.
Every little up and down, confrontation, altercation, talk and action in this time sensitive crisis is either a battle you've won or lost.
But, if you didn't know it already, sometimes losing is winning and winning is losing.
Am I losing you? Let me explain.
When me and my wife were going through our rough patch together, I had no idea how to turn things around.
I assumed that I needed to get my point across to her no matter what.
I thought the only way I could win her back over was to constantly express how I could change and make things better.
I also felt if I didn't stand my ground in some of our heated arguments and have the last word that I somehow failed to do my part to make sure she knew exactly how I felt.
I also felt, that if I didn't bring it up several times a day, that I would miss my chance to save my marriage and my wife would carry on with her plans to end the marriage.
So, I was somewhat panicked into constantly bothering her about what it was I could do to save it.
Nothing I seemed to do would work or even change her attitude in the slightest.
In fact, it seemed to just push her away further.
What I found out is, I was pushing her away.
I was in fact rushing her into following through with her decision.
The reason I soon found out was, I was making all the classic mistakes of any spouse who's marriage is on the brink of divorce.
If I hadn't took the time to read up on what I was doing wrong and what type of behavior would ruin a marriage that was in trouble, I'd be a divorced man right now.
But I did, and I'd like to prevent anyone I can from making those potentially costly mistakes.
You see, you don't always have to have the last word.
Walking away from a heated battle, although it appears you have lost on the surface, you have won.
By not letting your emotions get the best of you, you'll minimize your risk of saying or doing something you might regret later.
Not showing your emotions so easily or constantly doesn't mean you're not expressing enough about how upset you are with your spouses decision to leave, it's actually going to help you save your marriage by not adding another reason as to why your spouse needs to hurry this along.
Dropping your pride to seek help isn't losing or admitting failure in your marriage, or that you have somehow lost.
It's actually being smart enough to put your marriage before your pride.
Sometimes we can be downright stubborn about this.
I know, I was one of them.
I thought I could handle it myself, big man on the scene I thought who could handle my own.
But, I know now how silly it was for me to be that way.
Without help and learning the things I did, I'm not sure that I could have pulled it off.