Health & Medical Addiction & Recovery

How CBT Helped Joel Quit Sex With Strangers

Updated June 08, 2015.

This story is an example of how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helped Joel to quit compulsive sex with strangers. While the characters and the story are fictitious, the characteristics and circumstances described are often seen in people who come for treatment for sex addiction. Joel’s story is presented for illustrative purposes, to help readers understand how CBT can help people quit compulsive sex. Click here to share your own CBT story.

Joel was a sex addict, who compulsively seduced then rejected strangers. Joel estimated that he has had sex with over 300 women, although he had never had sex with anyone more than once, and typically refused to see anyone after he had had sex with them, lying and giving false personal information to avoid future contact.

Andy, Joel's cognitive behavioral therapist, guided Joel in recording the thoughts and feelings he experienced before, during and after sex. By analyzing the thoughts and feelings Joel had around sex, they came to understand that Joel had become addicted to sex because of his tendency to discount all of the positive human interactions he has each day, including any he might have with sexual partners after each sexual conquest, because the feelings aren’t as intense or pleasurable as having sex with a stranger, and the powerful feelings that come with manipulating another person.

Andy explained to Joel that discounting the positive aspects of his non-sexual interactions would always lead to shallow, manipulative and unsatisfying interactions with others, particularly women.

Rather than obsessing about how to trick the next woman into bed, he could be getting to know who she is, and developing some interest in her as a person. Although to begin with, it was difficult for Joel to resist the urge to seduce women at every opportunity, he was motivated to do so because he genuinely wanted a "real" relationship.

With practice, Joel was able to overcome the urge to lie to every woman he met, and to spend more time being with others without an agenda. It became especially difficult when he met Moira about three months into therapy, a woman with whom he shared a strong mutual attraction. With Andy’s help, Joel was able to explain his problem with compulsive sexual behavior to Moira, and they agreed to start with dating and move towards establishing intimacy before having sex.

During the six months that Joel and Moira were dating, Joel found it easier to resist seducing other women, and started to enjoy the positive aspects of his interactions with them. He befriended several women at work whom he had not previously slept with. After about six months, Joel and Moira were able to establish a loving sexual relationship, which Joel was able to commit to without having sex with other women.
SHARE
RELATED POSTS on "Health & Medical"
Quit Smoking By Following These Simple Steps
Quit Smoking By Following These Simple Steps
9 Ways to Communicate With Someone Who Has an Addiction
9 Ways to Communicate With Someone Who Has an Addiction
Mind Over Matter: Smoking Cigarettes, A Force of Habit
Mind Over Matter: Smoking Cigarettes, A Force of Habit
Marijuana And The Brain - What Are The Risks Of Heavy Use?
Marijuana And The Brain - What Are The Risks Of Heavy Use?
What Is The Ideal Way To Seek Treatment For Alcoholism?
What Is The Ideal Way To Seek Treatment For Alcoholism?
Vicodin In The Realm Of Prescription Drug Abuse
Vicodin In The Realm Of Prescription Drug Abuse
Narcotics Anonymous (NA) Meetings in North Dakota
Narcotics Anonymous (NA) Meetings in North Dakota
What Are the Health Effects of Second Hand Smoke (Environmental Tobacco Smoke)
What Are the Health Effects of Second Hand Smoke (Environmental Tobacco Smoke)
Quitting Smoking Benefits - Remind Yourself of the Incredible Benefits of Quitting Smoking
Quitting Smoking Benefits - Remind Yourself of the Incredible Benefits of Quitting Smoking
How to Stop Smoking Weed - What Really Works
How to Stop Smoking Weed - What Really Works
What Makes Marijuana So Addictive?
What Makes Marijuana So Addictive?
Symptoms to Alcoholism Withdrawal
Symptoms to Alcoholism Withdrawal
Gosnold and Thorne Gosnold Inc of Centerville MA
Gosnold and Thorne Gosnold Inc of Centerville MA
Five County Alcohol and Drug Program of Napoleon OH
Five County Alcohol and Drug Program of Napoleon OH
June 24
June 24
Quit Smoking Using Hypnosis
Quit Smoking Using Hypnosis
Arbour and HRI Hospital of Brookline MA
Arbour and HRI Hospital of Brookline MA
The Biggest Threat to the Whole Human Race
The Biggest Threat to the Whole Human Race
Understanding Withdrawal Symptoms Associated With Alcohol Addiction Recovery
Understanding Withdrawal Symptoms Associated With Alcohol Addiction Recovery
Gateway Drugs or Gateway Addictions?
Gateway Drugs or Gateway Addictions?

Leave Your Reply

*