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Anger
When you care for elderly people it's easier if you're not related. If you're related it takes more out of you emotionally. I know this first hand because I've done both. I was a caregiver for an elderly woman for 3 years living on the premises. I have also cared for my mother for the past 2 years who had a stroke and is partially paralyzed.
The worse part seems to be that they are angry and with good reason. When you lose mobility and are in pain it's darn near impossible to be happy. The first thing you need to do is find a way to deal with the anger that's directed at you simply because you're there. You must stay calm and not allow anything to upset you. - 2
Medications
It may take a while to manage their anger, sometimes it's the medication. I research all medications online for side effects and to see what meds clash with others. This is vital to their mental and physical health.
Another thing you need to do right away is get POA, so that you can make all decisions. They may not like this so be prepared for a fight!
Important financial and medical decisions must be made by someone who is capable of doing so. The family will need to agree on who this person will be. You may also need the advice of an attorney. - 3
Schedule
You will also need to set a schedule for everything, they do much better with structure. So, there will be a set time for eating, sleeping, bathing, exercise/therapy, taking meds and activities. They may not like it at first, but they will eventually come around.
Remember, when you care for elderly to be firm, do not give in, they're like kids and will manipulate to get their way.
You will need to elderly proof the house by putting away anything that can do harm. They're like 2 year old's only a bigger version which makes matters worse. - 4
Listen
Being a good listener is very important as well. Listen to what they say, so that you will understand why they may be angry or depressed. This way you can build trust and have a stronger relationship. Whether they're related or not this is a must or else they get worse not better. Then your job will be harder than ever.
They will come to be dependent upon you so you need to be there for them. In addition, when you have time off you need to have someone stay with them that they feel comfortable with. Someone who knows them and is experienced in how to care for elderly. - 5
Nursing Home Abuse
If you have to end up placing them in a nursing home then be sure to do a thorough inspection of the nursing home. There is a checklist online of what you need to look for. Naturally, they need to visit the facility they're going to be in before you admit them.
This is one of the hardest decisions you will have to make in your entire life, so be sure it's the right one. It's also a good idea for you to visit frequently. Many nursing homes do not take proper care of their residents, especially if they know family doesn't visit often.
Have meetings frequently to discuss the care plan and know who the ombudsman is for that facility. Let them know that you're on top of everything, especially meds because they tend to sedate residents.
When you care for elderly people or parents you have to protect them from harm whether it's people or situations. They're a prime target for abuse since they're weak and defenseless.
Finally, no matter what you decide to do it's not going to be easy. Learn all you can about their specific needs and do the best you can.
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