- 1). Ask your husband to give you a few minutes of his time to discuss an issue. Remove all distractions, such as televisions, cell phones and computers. You want you and your husband to focus on each other when discussing how you're feeling about a particular matter.
- 2). Sit facing your husband so you can look directly at him. This will ensure he should listen to what you have to say. Use friendly body language; do not cross your arms or legs, as this can be perceived as threatening and may shut down the communication.
- 3). Start by using an "I" statement to tell your husband how you feel about a particular situation or subject. For example, you might say "I feel frustrated when you come home late" or "I feel upset when you forget our anniversary." An "I" statement focuses the attention on your feelings and the behaviors, not on the person. Focusing on behaviors or actions, rather than on the person, relieves any defensiveness and can eliminate arguing.
- 4). Allow your husband to ask clarifying questions regarding what you have just stated. This can clear up any misunderstandings or miscommunications regarding your feelings. If your husband does not understand what you have said, try to rephrase the statement, or give an example of what you are saying. For example, you could say "Last week you said you would be home at 9 p.m., but you showed up at 10 p.m. I feel disrespected when you are late."
- 5). Give your husband a chance to take in the information you have given him. Allow him an opportunity to explain himself or to talk to you about how you are feeling. Keep an open line of communication to resolve the issues quickly and without incident.
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