- 1). Tell your son the news as a story. Talk about how you met his father (the man who is helping to raise him) and how you decided to be a family. Emphasize the positive, joyful aspects of this coming together. Use your judgment about how much to reveal about his biological father, depending on the circumstances (if he is deceased, for example, you may wish to save the discussion about death and dying for another time).
- 2). Use pictures and other reminders (such as a journal, emails or scrapbook, if you keep one) to communicate to your son how your family has changed as he has grown. Show him pictures of himself as a baby and of the first meetings between himself and his father.
- 3). Use the word adopted, if your son has been legally adopted by his father (or if there are definite plans for him to do so). You may also choose to use the phrase "biological father" or "birth father" to differentiate this person from his dad. Explain that there are different ways of being a father which have to do with caring for, nurturing, guiding and protecting a child until he grows up.
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