"You are just a friend.
What do you know?" Ever experience that sentiment? Or maybe, "You're my Mom.
What do you know?" Did you ever notice how easy it is to see when your friend or partner or colleague is stuck somehow, somewhere in his or her life? How many times did you watch and listen to a friend dance round and round an issue, doing the same steps--perhaps disguised in slightly different variations--and clearly the same behaviors? Maybe you pointed out the futility of those actions to your friend yet he or she chose to ignore what you suggested.
Sound familiar? Why is it that your friend hears the suggestion a stranger makes and acts on the very same advice he or she ignored when you spoke those words? If you are like most people, you put people into boxes according to behaviors and capabilities you know them to have and do.
Then you lock the box and throw away the key.
You only see what you expect to see.
When your friends act in ways outside your definition of who they can and cannot be--well, you fail to see those new behaviors.
To clarify that point, as a health fanatic you may share information with your friend about ways to stay healthy even during cold and flu season.
That friend ignores you and then tells you about the actions he or she is taking (the very same actions you suggested) because the holistic doctor prescribed them.
They did not hear you say them because in their eyes you are not the knowledgeable, credible healthcare practitioner.
You are just a friend.
What could you know about health? You know your friends act that way toward you.
Guess what? You do the same to your friend.
You have a choice about how you listen to your friend.
You have a choice about being open to the fact that your friend may be more than your definition of him or her.
Or you may continue to keep your friend in that tiny locked box and miss the helpful and caring gifts he or she shares with you.
The words you use to talk to yourself about who your friend is and who your friend is not will determine the quality and endurance of your relationship.
Stop and really listen to learn who your friend really and completely is.
Remember you are counterparts of one another.
Each person you attract into your world reflects an aspect of your being.
What do you know?" Ever experience that sentiment? Or maybe, "You're my Mom.
What do you know?" Did you ever notice how easy it is to see when your friend or partner or colleague is stuck somehow, somewhere in his or her life? How many times did you watch and listen to a friend dance round and round an issue, doing the same steps--perhaps disguised in slightly different variations--and clearly the same behaviors? Maybe you pointed out the futility of those actions to your friend yet he or she chose to ignore what you suggested.
Sound familiar? Why is it that your friend hears the suggestion a stranger makes and acts on the very same advice he or she ignored when you spoke those words? If you are like most people, you put people into boxes according to behaviors and capabilities you know them to have and do.
Then you lock the box and throw away the key.
You only see what you expect to see.
When your friends act in ways outside your definition of who they can and cannot be--well, you fail to see those new behaviors.
To clarify that point, as a health fanatic you may share information with your friend about ways to stay healthy even during cold and flu season.
That friend ignores you and then tells you about the actions he or she is taking (the very same actions you suggested) because the holistic doctor prescribed them.
They did not hear you say them because in their eyes you are not the knowledgeable, credible healthcare practitioner.
You are just a friend.
What could you know about health? You know your friends act that way toward you.
Guess what? You do the same to your friend.
You have a choice about how you listen to your friend.
You have a choice about being open to the fact that your friend may be more than your definition of him or her.
Or you may continue to keep your friend in that tiny locked box and miss the helpful and caring gifts he or she shares with you.
The words you use to talk to yourself about who your friend is and who your friend is not will determine the quality and endurance of your relationship.
Stop and really listen to learn who your friend really and completely is.
Remember you are counterparts of one another.
Each person you attract into your world reflects an aspect of your being.
SHARE
