George Washington"s Mother, Mary Washington: What Was She Really Like?

Mary Washington Facts

Known for: mother of George Washington, first US President. Mary Washington was used in the 19^th and part of the 20^th century to celebrate motherhood
Dates: November 30, 1708 – August 25, 1789
Also known as: Mary Ball, Mary Ball Washington. In childhood called “The Rose of Epping Forest”

Background, Family:

Mother: Mary Johnson, a widow
Father: Joseph Matthaus Ball, born in England

Siblings: four older full sisters; several children by Joseph Ball’s first wife; Joseph, a half-brother, lived in London and Virginia

Marriage, Children:

Husband: Augustine Washington (married March 6, 1731; Virginia planter and business owner) – son of Lawrence Washington and Mildred Warner
Children:
1. George (February 22, 1732 – December 14, 1799) married Martha Dandridge Custis (1731 – 1802)
2. Elizabeth (Betty) (June 30, 1733 – March 31, 1797) married Fielding Lewis (1725 – 1781)
3. Samuel (November 16, 1734 – December 1781) married five times: Jane Champe, Mildred Thornton, Lucy Chapman, Anne Steptoe, Susannah Perrin. Nine children total. One son, George Steptoe Washington, married Lucy Payne, Dolley Madison’s sister.
4. John Augustine (January 13, 1736 – February 1787) married Hannah Bushrod. A daughter married a son of Augustine Jr., John Augustine’s older half-brother.
5. Charles (May 2, 1738 – May 3, 1799) married Mildred Thornton, a cousin of the Mildred Thornton who married Samuel Washington
6. Mildred (June 21, 1739 – October 23, 1740)

Stepchildren by Augustine’s first marriage to Jane Butler (married April 30, 1715, died November 24, 1728)
1. Butler (1716 – 1716)
2. Lawrence (1718 – July 26, 1752) married Anne Fairfax (1728 – 1761)
3. Augustine Jr. (1720 – May 1762) married Anne Aylette. His son married a daughter of John Augustine.
4. Jane (1722 – January 17, 1735)

Mary Washington Biography

Most of the information we have about Mary Washington is also related to her most famous son, George Washington. While early biographies tended to emphasize her near-saintliness as a mother, and her excellent relationship with her son, that version has been replaced by a more objective history, based on scholarly examination of such sources as surviving letters.

Birth and Childhood

Born in 1708 at her father’s estate called Epping Forest, Mary Ball was the youngest of five sisters, and there were half-siblings from her father’s previous marriage. Joseph Ball, who had emigrated from England, had married Mary Johnson, whose first husband had died, against the opposition of his older children. Joseph died when Mary Ball was three, leaving her with a small estate, and her mother remarried. Her mother was widowed a third time and then died herself, leaving her daughter Mary Ball with a guardian, George Eskridge, a family connection and Westmoreland lawyer. Mary Ball lived with his family for five years. Mary was not well-educated, though she did learn to read and write.

Marriage and Children

On March 6, 1731, Mary, then 23 years old, married Augustine Washington, a widower with two sons and a daughter (another son had died in infancy). Augustine, though born in America, had been sent back to England for his education, and had inherited land and slaves from his father, who died when Augustine was only four years old. Augustine’s sister Mildred also inherited land along the Potomac.

He had purchased property at Popes Creek, next to the land he inherited from his father, in 1718, and had built a house there in 1726. That home was later to be called Wakefield. He also purchased his sister’s land on the Potomac from her that year.

Augustine was a tobacco planter and was also active in the church (Anglican) and local politics. He married Mary Ball a year after his first wife, Jane Butler, died. Probably by the time of his second marriage, Augustine had sent his two sons by his first wife to school in England, to Appleby, in Northumberland County.

On February 11, 1732, by the Old Style calendar – February 22 by the yet-to-be-adopted new calendar – Mary Ball Washington gave birth to her first child, a son named George, probably after her guardian. George Washington was born at the Popes Creek plantation and baptized on April 16.

In 1734 Mary and Augustine’s second child was born, a daughter named Elizabeth but called Betty. A third child and second son, Samuel, was born the next year, and Augustine’s daughter Jane by his first wife died that year.

Also in 1735, the family moved about 40 miles west to the land Augustine had bought from his sister. Each of the next two years, Mary Washington gave birth to another son: first John Augustine and then Charles. John Augustine would prove to be his eldest brother’s closest sibling as they were growing up.

Augustine took a short trip to England and returned in a few months. His son Lawrence also returned from England and school, then joined about 400 men from Virginia who volunteered to fight with Admiral Vernon in Spain. He participated in the ill-fated British attack on Cartegena in the Spanish Caribbean, but survived and returned to Virginia safely. Augustine Jr. also returned from England, joining the Washington household.

A final child was born to Mary and Augustine in 1739, a daughter they named Mildred, probably for Augustine’s sister and mother. The baby died the next year.

In 1740, Augustine moved the family to Ferry Farm near Fredericksburg to be nearer an iron business that he’d taken on. Augustine gave Lawrence rights to live at the Potomac property, then called Epsewasson; Lawrence was appointed adjutant general of Virginia in 1742.

Death and Inheritance

In April of 1743, Augustine Washington died at Ferry Farm and was buried at Popes Creek. George and his brothers and half-brothers inherited land and their father’s 64 slaves. Augustine’s death also meant that neither George nor his younger brothers would sent away to England to school as their older half-brothers had been.

Lawrence was given Epsewasson which he renamed Mount Vernon, after his commander. Augustine Jr. inherited the property and slaves of Popes Creek and Wakefield. George inherited the property and slaves at Ferry Farm, though because he was eleven, Mary Washington, according to Augustine’s will, was to manage the property for him while he was a minor.

The will was complicated in determining how land would be passed on among the sons should any of them not want what they were given or should any die without children; ultimately, George also inherited what became Mount Vernon.

Mary Washington, unlike most Virginia widows of the time, never remarried. At the time of her husband’s death, she had five children to care for, with George at 11 the eldest.

George Growing Up

George, we know from letters and records, studied arithmetic and geometry, which served as a basis for his later career as a surveyor. Despite later legends of Mary Washington’s influence on George, the relationship was not apparently as smooth as the legends would have it. George often visited his half brothers and some cousins in the area.

In 1746, when George was fourteen, his brother Lawrence mysteriously summoned him to Fredericksburg by letter. There, George was to meet William Fairfax, who had a letter from Lawrence asking him to support getting George a position as a midshipman in the Royal Navy. Lawrence also gave, through Lord Fairfax, a note for George to bring to Mary Washington about this proposed position.

When George returned to Ferry Farm with the proposition that he join the British Royal Navy, Mary Washington and her son fought about the appointment. Mary Washington did not want her son to take the assignment. George went back and forth about whether he’d accept it or not, but Mary Washington eventually won, and George abandoned this plan to go to sea.

The next year he started working as a surveyor, and in 1748, he went to live at Mount Vernon with Lawrence.

In 1750, Mary’s daughter Betty married Colonel Fielding Lewis; Betty and Fielding Lewis made their home at Kenmore, at Fredericksburg.

George and Lawrence

In 1751, George and Lawrence traveled to the Barbadoes. The next year, Lawrence succumbed to consumption (tuberculosis) despite a return trip to England to consult with physicians there. George moved to Mount Vernon, renting it (and its 18 slaves) first from Lawrence’s widow – as George was next in line to inherit.

George was appointed in 1752 as adjutant general of the Southern district of Virginia (the commonwealth had been split into four regions since the time Lawrence had held a similar title for the whole colony), then in 1753 was transferred to the Northern Neck district.

As George approached and passed his age of majority, Mary Washington showed no signs of moving from Ferry Farm or giving up management of it to her son.

General Braddock’s Campaign

In 1755, then 23 years old, George was given a career-changing opportunity to serve under General Braddock in the French and Indian War. Gen. Braddock had come to town, and George was planning to join his military campaign as an aide to the general.

Mary Washington got word of her son’s plans, and came from Ferry Farm to stop George from that action, telling him that his first duty was to her. He spent so much time arguing with his mother about the decision that he missed an appointment to meet Braddock. George offered that Mary could live at Mount Vernon, but she refused. And George joined General Braddock’s company as a volunteer.

Staying Put at Ferry Farm

George further annoyed his mother by bringing his brother John Augustine to Mount Vernon to manage it in his absence. John Augustine married, while at Mount Vernon, a woman named Hannah Bushrod.

She wrote many letters to George, often asking for money or supplies or some favor. In one letter, George writes a response to her request for butter and “a Dutch man” telling her that neither were available. She, for her part, called his service with Braddock “my trouble.”

George was elected to the Virginia House of Burgesses while he was still with Braddock’s army. He served with Braddock until 1758, then returned to Mount Vernon. He met a widow, Martha Dandridge Custis, and in 1759 married her.

In 1762, Mary’s stepson Augustine Washington Jr. died, leaving his widow with a son and three daughters to raise. William Augustine Washington, the son, was to inherit the property and rename it to Wakefield.

George and Martha lived at Mount Vernon, with Martha’s children from her previous marriage and, eventually, grandchildren. Mary Washington continued to live at Ferry Farm, and George bought some land and built a house for her near his sister Betty, married to Fielding Lewis.

Mary’s management of Ferry Farm was less than successful, and she and George continued to argue as George tried to get the property and some of Mary’s property nearby to sound economic standing. Mary continued to use the property’s resources, and George wrote of his annoyance that she was taking more than was sustainable. When he paid his mother rent for the nearby property she had directly inherited from her late husband, George saw to it that he recorded the amount he paid, and had the transaction witnessed in writing by others.

American Revolution

In 1774 and 1775, George joined with the growing rebellion and was elected as a delegate to both the first and second Continental Congresses. In 1775 Congress elected George as General and Commander in Chief of the Continental Army, and George held that title through the end of the war when a peace treaty was signed in 1783.

During the war, Mary wrote many letters to her son, many complaining of her financial situation and asking for money.

In 1779, the old house at Popes Creek burned. William Augustine Washington’s family had lived there until the fire. This was attributed alternately to a chimney ember at Christmas or to slaves burning rubbish in the spring.

Mary’s son Samuel had died in 1781, apparently leaving considerable debt to George, and Samuel’s will gave land to George to settle the debt.

After the War

George returned to Mount Vernon at the end of the war, and resumed private life. On returning to Virginia, George also found that Mary’s property, on which he’d paid rent, had been mismanaged by the overseer. He also discovered that the Virginia Assembly was prepared to grant Mary a pension, and he stepped in to stop that embarrassing action. He was concerned with what he saw as continued overspending by Mary, and even asked his brother John to talk with their mother on the matter.

George and John arranged for their mother to finally give up living on the Ferry Farm property and to gain income by renting the land. Mary was to go and live with John and his family, but John died in 1787. George wrote to Mary, strongly suggesting that she would not be comfortable living at Mount Vernon, the site of frequent visitors.

George was not to stay in Virginia for long, though, to Mary’s apparent dismay. He served as a delegate from Virginia to the Federal Convention in 1787, stopping to visit Mary on his way to the meeting. In February of 1789, he was unanimously elected as the first President of the United States under the new Constitution. He stopped in Fredericksburg to see his mother on his way to his inauguration in New York on April 30, 1789. It was the last time Mary would see her famous son. George’s wife, Martha, and Nelly and Washington Custis, Martha’s grandchildren whom she and George had adopted, left for New York in May. Mary Washington died on August 25, 1789. George was to complete two terms as president, then only briefly returning to Mount Vernon before dying in 1799, ten years after his mother’s death.

Mary Washington’s Memory

What did it mean to succeeding generations that Mary Washington was the mother of the “father of our country”? Read about how Mary Washington’s memory was used in the 1800s and early 1900s as part of the almost-deification of George Washington: