Communication is a cornerstone of society.
At times when we assume that another person understands exactly what we mean.
While updating a parent in the NICU I asked how we (the staff) could support her.
She responded that we could not make her feel better.
Even though she was correct on that point, she was not giving herself an opportunity to get support.
The on-line definitions of SUPPORT 1.
to bear weight, especially from below, 2.
to hold in position, so as to keep from falling, sinking, slipping, 3.
to be capable of bearing, withstand, 4.
to keep from weakening, or falling, to strengthen.
1.
Support shows up when you ask the Universe for what you need.
When we find ourselves in difficult times, our natural inclination is to shrink back and hide.
This response is actually counterproductive to what we really desire in our lives.
As postpartum moms and moms who feel that they are not measuring up to "other people's standards", we often hide, rather than be uncomfortable with sharing the truth about the challenges of motherhood.
Everyday we see messages in the media of how parenting is supposed to be.
In commercials babies are cooing, giggling, and appear to be having fun.
Seldom do we see the stress from staying up all night with a colicky baby.
Being unable to share the difficult times blocks the flow of support.
People do not suspect that you need assistance when it appears to be going well from the outside.
All mothers know that the experience has great days, good days, and not so good days.
It is in embracing the full experience that we position ourselves to receive support when needed.
As the saying goes," it takes a village to raise a child".
Create your village of people who love and support you all the time.
Ask for what you need.
2.
Support is not a quick fix.
Support from others does not sweep in and make everything better.
Mothers of babies hospitalized in the NICU know this to be true.
Support will not make your baby better overnight.
His or her healing process will continue at its own pace.
Support allows you to step away for just a minute and to begin to seek opportunities for seeing the "glass half full" rather than "half empty".
On your NICU journey the support of others allow you to unload your thoughts and feelings of doubt, worry and hopelessness and embrace optimism.
It is that support that will allow you to continue on your NICU journey even when you would rather not.
3.
Support has its own vision and style.
During the prenatal and postpartum periods and beyond we subscribe to the old adage of "Mother knows best".
Unfortunately sometimes this does not serve us.
It may add to the stress and overwhelm.
Asking for help and receiving it, requires us to relinquish control and allow another person to do it their way.
It is difficult to delegate and then expect it to be done the way we would do it.
When we do this, we are not receiving.
When we ask the Universe for support, it means we have to be willing to receive it as it shows up.
So whether you are en expecting mother, postpartum mom, or mom of a NICU baby there comes a time to really let go of the control and allow dads, grandparents, other family members and friends to support you.
At times when we assume that another person understands exactly what we mean.
While updating a parent in the NICU I asked how we (the staff) could support her.
She responded that we could not make her feel better.
Even though she was correct on that point, she was not giving herself an opportunity to get support.
The on-line definitions of SUPPORT 1.
to bear weight, especially from below, 2.
to hold in position, so as to keep from falling, sinking, slipping, 3.
to be capable of bearing, withstand, 4.
to keep from weakening, or falling, to strengthen.
1.
Support shows up when you ask the Universe for what you need.
When we find ourselves in difficult times, our natural inclination is to shrink back and hide.
This response is actually counterproductive to what we really desire in our lives.
As postpartum moms and moms who feel that they are not measuring up to "other people's standards", we often hide, rather than be uncomfortable with sharing the truth about the challenges of motherhood.
Everyday we see messages in the media of how parenting is supposed to be.
In commercials babies are cooing, giggling, and appear to be having fun.
Seldom do we see the stress from staying up all night with a colicky baby.
Being unable to share the difficult times blocks the flow of support.
People do not suspect that you need assistance when it appears to be going well from the outside.
All mothers know that the experience has great days, good days, and not so good days.
It is in embracing the full experience that we position ourselves to receive support when needed.
As the saying goes," it takes a village to raise a child".
Create your village of people who love and support you all the time.
Ask for what you need.
2.
Support is not a quick fix.
Support from others does not sweep in and make everything better.
Mothers of babies hospitalized in the NICU know this to be true.
Support will not make your baby better overnight.
His or her healing process will continue at its own pace.
Support allows you to step away for just a minute and to begin to seek opportunities for seeing the "glass half full" rather than "half empty".
On your NICU journey the support of others allow you to unload your thoughts and feelings of doubt, worry and hopelessness and embrace optimism.
It is that support that will allow you to continue on your NICU journey even when you would rather not.
3.
Support has its own vision and style.
During the prenatal and postpartum periods and beyond we subscribe to the old adage of "Mother knows best".
Unfortunately sometimes this does not serve us.
It may add to the stress and overwhelm.
Asking for help and receiving it, requires us to relinquish control and allow another person to do it their way.
It is difficult to delegate and then expect it to be done the way we would do it.
When we do this, we are not receiving.
When we ask the Universe for support, it means we have to be willing to receive it as it shows up.
So whether you are en expecting mother, postpartum mom, or mom of a NICU baby there comes a time to really let go of the control and allow dads, grandparents, other family members and friends to support you.
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