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The brutal hate crimes against blacks and gays and other minorities in recent years are profoundly disturbing. As parents, we share a responsibility to see that a legacy of hate is not handed down to our children. The sad fact is that we all have prejudices. Do you want to pass yours on to your children? I hope not. In order to avoid doing so, it is important to understand what prejudice is and how easily it can be passed from generation to generation.

Hate Hurts

When I was examining my own beliefs and feelings, I discovered a very helpful book. The Anti-Defamation League's Hate Hurts: How Children Learn and Unlearn Prejudice, A Guide for Adults and Children, was published in 2000 by Scholastic. The authors are Caryl Stern-LaRosa and Ellen Hofheimer Bettmann. The Anti-Defamation League is a national organization dedicated to fighting against "anti-Semitism, racism, and hate of all kinds."

An Overview of the Book

The books is divided into three parts:
Understanding Hate and Where It Comes From - This section looks at how children learn about differences, what some of the differences are, what makes people hate and what can be done about prejudice.

Questions About Hate/Responses to Hate - The nine chapters in this section provide specific questions and answers for children of various age levels, sample scenarios, information on inappropriate actions, from name calling and exclusion to violence, plus diversity skills and concepts. The authors speak directly to parents throughout the book.

They approach these topics from two perspectives: your child as the victim of prejudice, your child as the perpetrator of inappropriate actions resulting from prejudice.

Challenging Hate Outside the Home - The first three of the five chapters in the final section all deal with effective methods for combating hate. This includes hate in schools, in the media, and on the Internet. The authors then discuss making a commitment to change, and available resources.

Firsthand Accounts of Prejudice

The firsthand accounts of adults and children who have had to deal with prejudice as victims or been caught up in activities triggered by prejudice really bring home to the reader the devastating effects of prejudice. The authors do an excellent job of explaining, with specific examples, what stereotype, prejudice, discrimination, and scapegoating mean in terms that can be easily understood by six to eight year olds. The authors provided both appropriate and inappropriate responses to children's questions. This was very effective in reinforcing the importance of thoughtful and complete responses.

Bibliography of Selected Children's Books and Books for Adults

One of the resources provided in the book is a bibliography of selected books that deal with prejudice. The list is divided into books for adults and children's books for kids from preschool to high school age. There is also an extensive list of related organizations and web sites. In addition, the book provides tips on screening TV, movies, videos, and children's books for stereotyping and other inappropriate messages.

Share your recommendations: Prejudice hurts. As parents we all have a responsibility to our children to help them to learn to treat others with kindness and consideration. How do you deal with prejudice? Have you found any particularly helpful activities or books? Please post your recommendations on the About Children's Books Forum.

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