Health & Medical Parenting

Defiant Behavior - Time For Calm Parenting

If you thought that defiant behavior was just a limited problem, think again! Did you know that about 5% of American children display out of control behavior? That is an alarming figure and puts the spotlight on both parents and children. Let us look at the parents first, for a change.

When the spotlight is on defiant behavior and the strategies we have for managing that, the very important question of stressed out parents is often forgotten. Yet that is often the key to recharging batteries and to regenerate so that we can face another day. I find that the calmest parents are the most successful although this may be a sweeping generalization. But I have observed that the more exhausted parents are those who not carving out time for themselves. This could be just to take a walk, a shower, a bath, listen to music and anything which we can do to de-stress.

Certainly being relaxed and refreshed will help us with this problem but it is just a small part of the solution. It is, however, often neglected which is why I have mentioned it first in this article.

Understanding the causes of defiant behavior is key to understanding what exactly is going on in the child's mind. As parents, we are sometimes totally unaware that some of the tactics we are using is actually exacerbating the situation, rather than solving the problem. This point is dealt with very clearly in Russell Barkely and Christine Benton's book Your Defiant Child - 8 Steps To Better Behavior .

This book really explains what is the cause of defiant behavior and how parents can sometimes cause it. They are pushing the wrong buttons very often and they are getting themselves into a really tight corner. We need to see what we are doing wrong and how we can rectify this very easily, and finally restore peace and harmony in our homes.

I think the key for me is to get the child's cooperation and to be really consistent in applying a few simple techniques that will save us trying to get an appointment with a child psychologist which will probably take weeks. We need to learn how to use praise effectively, why traditional punishment can backfire and how we can gradually eradicate unacceptable behavior.

But if we really want to learn about how to deal with defiant behavior, we can easily get advice from a child psychiatrist who has been dealing with these problems for a very long time with great success. Why not click through and discover how you can easily access these secrets too?
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