Two things to remember: this story is true and yes I am embarrassed to tell it.
I am a man brought up with four older brothers, no sisters and no babies.
I never really ever even held a baby until my wife delivered our first child back in October 1998.
So you can understand my nervousness when the baby was born.
Suddenly I had to hold, feed, clothe, and carry him without doing irreparable harm to his physical well being.
Truth be told, I did very little of the actual work.
My wife was so excited at having her first child that she rarely let me near him.
This did little to reinforce my faith in myself that I can handle the baby duties.
Then one day she dropped a bomb on me; she had to go to a meeting and I would be staying alone with the baby for the first time! Several thoughts flashed through my mind.
Did my mom have time to get here? Should I call a baby sitter? Should I fake a case of appendicitis? Unfortunately, I had no option but to stay and face the music.
My wife pulled out of the driveway while I exhibited my manliness by holding our baby and smiling.
Luckily she didn't see me shaking.
After she pulled off, I put my plan into action.
I would get him to sleep and keep him that way until she returned in three hours.
If he began to cry, all bets were off.
I loaded him in his stroller and proceeded to walk him around the back yard in a circle.
I used the back yard because it was bigger and because I really didn't want anyone to see me.
He loved riding in his stroller and would usually go right to sleep.
However, this time he stayed awake but luckily didn't seem unhappy.
I was on pins and needles the entire time praying he wouldn't start crying.
After an hour of walking circles, my legs were hurting and he still wasn't asleep.
I looked at my watch and realized that two hours remained until the cavalry arrived.
Suddenly it happened.
He began to wail loudly.
I immediately went to plan B and ran for the bottle.
He took that and immediately the crying stopped.
I returned to my aerobic workout while he drank and miracle of miracle, he went to sleep.
Although he was asleep, I was still too scared to stop walking.
Hey, if it works, why stop right? So I kept walking and pushing that stroller until I heard a car pulling up out front.
And yes! My wife had arrived and my ordeal was over.
I never told my wife that I spent the entire three hours pushing a stroller around the backyard or that I was terrified to be alone with our son.
But I have a strange feeling that she knew, because it was a long time before she left me home alone again.
I am a man brought up with four older brothers, no sisters and no babies.
I never really ever even held a baby until my wife delivered our first child back in October 1998.
So you can understand my nervousness when the baby was born.
Suddenly I had to hold, feed, clothe, and carry him without doing irreparable harm to his physical well being.
Truth be told, I did very little of the actual work.
My wife was so excited at having her first child that she rarely let me near him.
This did little to reinforce my faith in myself that I can handle the baby duties.
Then one day she dropped a bomb on me; she had to go to a meeting and I would be staying alone with the baby for the first time! Several thoughts flashed through my mind.
Did my mom have time to get here? Should I call a baby sitter? Should I fake a case of appendicitis? Unfortunately, I had no option but to stay and face the music.
My wife pulled out of the driveway while I exhibited my manliness by holding our baby and smiling.
Luckily she didn't see me shaking.
After she pulled off, I put my plan into action.
I would get him to sleep and keep him that way until she returned in three hours.
If he began to cry, all bets were off.
I loaded him in his stroller and proceeded to walk him around the back yard in a circle.
I used the back yard because it was bigger and because I really didn't want anyone to see me.
He loved riding in his stroller and would usually go right to sleep.
However, this time he stayed awake but luckily didn't seem unhappy.
I was on pins and needles the entire time praying he wouldn't start crying.
After an hour of walking circles, my legs were hurting and he still wasn't asleep.
I looked at my watch and realized that two hours remained until the cavalry arrived.
Suddenly it happened.
He began to wail loudly.
I immediately went to plan B and ran for the bottle.
He took that and immediately the crying stopped.
I returned to my aerobic workout while he drank and miracle of miracle, he went to sleep.
Although he was asleep, I was still too scared to stop walking.
Hey, if it works, why stop right? So I kept walking and pushing that stroller until I heard a car pulling up out front.
And yes! My wife had arrived and my ordeal was over.
I never told my wife that I spent the entire three hours pushing a stroller around the backyard or that I was terrified to be alone with our son.
But I have a strange feeling that she knew, because it was a long time before she left me home alone again.
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