Have you just broken up with a guy? Are you lost without him? Do you wonder if you can get him back? Here's some boyfriend break up advice that will help.

First of all, decide whether the relationship is truly over. Until you are able to say that he is part of your past and not your present and future, you will not be able to move on.

This is not to say that you have to put him in the past right away. There are a number of steps you can take to get him back. You can stay part of his life in a casual way hoping to become boyfriend and girlfriend again.

But, if you are ready to move on, there are a number of steps you can take to reach closure. Closure is the process where you recognize that the relationship is over and you start to heal. Perhaps the first thing you should do is communicate your hurt. There are several ways to do this:

• Talk to friends and family who are truly empathetic and can help you work through your feelings. A true friend will do this, but many of your so called friends won't be up to the challenge.


• Go into short term therapy so you can work through your feelings with a dispassionate third party


• Write down your feelings in a journal, in poetry, or in music. This is an inexpensive way to express yourself and doesn't require anyone else to participate.

Once you have come to some level of closure, get rid of anything you have of your ex's. These things will only remind you of him and the boyfriend break up. Some things you'll want to give back because they have value. Other things you can just toss. And, if he's given you gifts that you want to keep, box them up and store them for the time being.

Next, figure out how you are going to spend your time now that you are not part of a couple. You may feel that time hangs heavy on your hands. Or, you may find that you are liberated by not having to do everything your ex wanted you to do.

Get involved in things that make you happy. Go to the gym so that you look and feel good. Spend some time getting pampered at the spa. Take a Spanish class at the community centre. Or, start to volunteer with the Big Sisters of America. By doing things that please you, you will become a happier person. You will find that you miss your ex a lot less.

One of the ways you will know that you are over your ex is that you will start to develop feelings for a new guy. Maybe these will be reciprocated. Eventually, you will find a new man and form a new relationship. That will be when you know you have really moved on. The boyfriend break up won't be so serious any more.