In the beginning when you start out a relationship seems to be a very easy

thing to handle but if you are asking how to get your boyfriend back then you

need to realise that in the give and take compromise and sacrifice are critical

to the well being of any relationship. Unfortunately mending a broken

relationship is never an easy task but what follows will most certainly make

the job a lot easier.

Rather than focusing on your all encompassing thought of how to get your

boyfriend back you need to be concentrating on the causes of the breakup. When

these reasons are understood you will be able to remove the stress and tension

and be able to move towards a reconciliation.

Relationships do not generally fail unless there were underlying reasons. It

may be that your boyfriend left you because you were too smothering or it could

have been because you were too distant. These two possible reasons are poles

apart but either one may be valid. Men like to know that they are wanted and

loved, but at the same time they cannot stand being smothered.

Whatever the reason may be that mainly caused the breakup, it was more than

likely something that you didn't do, or something that you did. Now although

this seems like an unfair way to look at things, unfortunately this is just how

it normally works. The one who was left behind either did, or did not do

something and the other person just felt driven away. So what to do now, and

how are you going to get him to come back? Your first step is to evaluate and

then change whatever it was that drove him away in the first place.

When you have found one thing that was the cause look deep into yourself to

find the reason why you act this way. It will be something from your past,

maybe something from your childhood. Many times we are hobbled by situations

from the past. Examine this thing that is stifling your growth. See it for what

it is, just a situation or emotion from the past that has no bearing on your

present life.

As an example if you are a smotherer maybe you lost someone or something

importent as a child and now you have a subconcious fear of losing what you

love. See that your reaction to your fear is doing what you fear most; causing

you to lose what you love. This is the beginning of how to get your boyfriend

back.

If you seem to be the type of person who appears distant it may be that someone

you cared about as a child left you and you felt abandoned, now to protect

yourself from hurt you keep people at arms length. Here the old adage nothing

ventured nothing gained should hold you in good stead; what I mean here is that

life is a journey and sometimes there will be bumps in the road. The experience

of love and the experience of loss are both there for us to enjoy. How else do

we learn and grow?

You may need to do this exercise a few times to ensure that you whittle out any

and all of the events that are holding you back. Once you are sure that you

have a new understanding of how these emotions can rule your relationships and

you feel that you can have a relationship free of these debilitating emotions,

then is the time that you can contact your ex when you can explain what you

have been doing and you will now have an excellent chance to get your boyfriend

back.