This is something that you aren't going to just admit to anyone. You would much rather put up a front and hide behind the excuse that you just have not met the right person yet. However, when no one else is around, you know what the truth is. And the truth is, you are afraid to date again after your divorce because you think that it is going to happen again. You assume that you are going to end up falling for a woman and things are not going to work out well and you are going to get your heart broken once more. It's natural to feel that way and to be honest, you are certainly not the only divorced man that has had to deal with these kinds of feelings. What you don't want to do, though, is to allow yourself to let that fear take control and force you to live in a way that you really don't want to. If you want to date again, and you want to be in a relationship once more - you are going to have to get over the fear of dating again.
Most of the time, the reason why this fear pops up has to do with the fact that you are really afraid that you are going to face rejection and that you won't be able to handle it. The other really common reason is that you are afraid that most women won't accept the fact that you have been divorced and will kind of look at you as damaged goods or as a guy who just can't do relationships.
Let me alleviate both of these fears for you right now. While rejection is always a possibility, it is not a foregone conclusion. Just because things did not work out with your ex wife, it does not mean that it won't work out for you with the next woman you meet. Or, the one after that. As far as women seeing you as not being able to hold down a relationship or being damaged goods, you should know that most women over the age of 30 think it is weirder for a guy to have not been married than they do if they find out a guy has been married and is now divorced. It gets looked at as you have the desire to be in a long term relationship, and even though things did not work out before, you are certainly the kind of guy who is not afraid to commit. That is a good thing.
Now that you realize that there really is nothing to fear about being divorced and dating again, you should prepare yourself to do well in the dating game again. This way, you are a lot less likely to hit any skids along the way and you will probably feel pretty confident, even if you don't meet the right woman right away. So, what will help you to do well in the dating game again?
Being able to approach women with confidence without feeling like you have to try and second guess every move that you make. That tends to be the number one limiting factor for most men when they see a woman they like. They just can't seem to make the move and if they do, they are thinking about all of the things that might go wrong and that holds them back from actually taking the time to walk on over and see what pans out. You have to learn to live in the moment and not think about every little thing that could go wrong. You can't predict the future, so there is no point in trying to predict what will happen. It's much better to just man up and make your approach.
Most of the time, the reason why this fear pops up has to do with the fact that you are really afraid that you are going to face rejection and that you won't be able to handle it. The other really common reason is that you are afraid that most women won't accept the fact that you have been divorced and will kind of look at you as damaged goods or as a guy who just can't do relationships.
Let me alleviate both of these fears for you right now. While rejection is always a possibility, it is not a foregone conclusion. Just because things did not work out with your ex wife, it does not mean that it won't work out for you with the next woman you meet. Or, the one after that. As far as women seeing you as not being able to hold down a relationship or being damaged goods, you should know that most women over the age of 30 think it is weirder for a guy to have not been married than they do if they find out a guy has been married and is now divorced. It gets looked at as you have the desire to be in a long term relationship, and even though things did not work out before, you are certainly the kind of guy who is not afraid to commit. That is a good thing.
Now that you realize that there really is nothing to fear about being divorced and dating again, you should prepare yourself to do well in the dating game again. This way, you are a lot less likely to hit any skids along the way and you will probably feel pretty confident, even if you don't meet the right woman right away. So, what will help you to do well in the dating game again?
Being able to approach women with confidence without feeling like you have to try and second guess every move that you make. That tends to be the number one limiting factor for most men when they see a woman they like. They just can't seem to make the move and if they do, they are thinking about all of the things that might go wrong and that holds them back from actually taking the time to walk on over and see what pans out. You have to learn to live in the moment and not think about every little thing that could go wrong. You can't predict the future, so there is no point in trying to predict what will happen. It's much better to just man up and make your approach.
SHARE
