In law problems are no picnic. Not only are they not fun but they are also very damaging; damaging to YOUR self esteem, damaging to YOUR emotional stability, and they can even ruin YOUR good and healthy marriage. They have to be taken seriously and you have to do something about them. But what can you do? In this article I'm going to tell you three things to do and not to do when you deal with your in law problems.
1. Don't spend too much time dreaming about what will be. To spend all your free time thinking how great it will be when they pass away isn't the way to go. Firstly, you don't know how long they will live. (Just to spite you they might live into their 90's and more.) And secondly dreaming of a rosy future is only a way to avoid the present situation without taking any real action towards making things better. It is like when you take a sedative. Things may seem bearable until the medication wears off and then your problems are still there. A much better thing to do is to face the problem and work on a solution.
2.Don't over-plan. To jump into something isn't a good idea but over-planning is also not a good idea; it causes analyzes paralysis- that you do nothing in the end. Have some plan in your mind and begin to implement and track what is happening so you can be flexible in the implementation of it. Try to think of a simple 5 point system that will be easy enough to follow through. Or if creating one plan of action for a specific problems each day is better, find a way to follow through. Just taking a step every day resolving your in law problems will be productive in the long run.
3.If you got a lemon make lemonade. I'm sure that you have heard of the story of the person who boarded the wrong plane and ended up in Italy instead of Norway; not what they expected but also a very nice place. The same is with your in laws. You didn't expect them to be such a pain and so irritating but don't give up. With some creativity (maybe lots) you will be able to find happiness in spite (or despite) them.
We can not always pick perfect in laws when we get married. But it often takes two parties to make a situation worse or help it get better. If you do not allow your in laws to get under your skin, instead showing them that they do not affect you, they may stop doing some of the things they do. Try to talk with them, talk with a counselor or minister, or find a forum online where you can find other people who have gone through the same thing. Share stories, find solutions, and then take the steps to changing your relationship with your in laws.
1. Don't spend too much time dreaming about what will be. To spend all your free time thinking how great it will be when they pass away isn't the way to go. Firstly, you don't know how long they will live. (Just to spite you they might live into their 90's and more.) And secondly dreaming of a rosy future is only a way to avoid the present situation without taking any real action towards making things better. It is like when you take a sedative. Things may seem bearable until the medication wears off and then your problems are still there. A much better thing to do is to face the problem and work on a solution.
2.Don't over-plan. To jump into something isn't a good idea but over-planning is also not a good idea; it causes analyzes paralysis- that you do nothing in the end. Have some plan in your mind and begin to implement and track what is happening so you can be flexible in the implementation of it. Try to think of a simple 5 point system that will be easy enough to follow through. Or if creating one plan of action for a specific problems each day is better, find a way to follow through. Just taking a step every day resolving your in law problems will be productive in the long run.
3.If you got a lemon make lemonade. I'm sure that you have heard of the story of the person who boarded the wrong plane and ended up in Italy instead of Norway; not what they expected but also a very nice place. The same is with your in laws. You didn't expect them to be such a pain and so irritating but don't give up. With some creativity (maybe lots) you will be able to find happiness in spite (or despite) them.
We can not always pick perfect in laws when we get married. But it often takes two parties to make a situation worse or help it get better. If you do not allow your in laws to get under your skin, instead showing them that they do not affect you, they may stop doing some of the things they do. Try to talk with them, talk with a counselor or minister, or find a forum online where you can find other people who have gone through the same thing. Share stories, find solutions, and then take the steps to changing your relationship with your in laws.
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