Okay, this is just a warning before you start reading.
There may or may not be some mush in the following column.
And, like traces of peanuts, you may or may not feel safe and comfortable with that.
I know I don't.
On Saturday, our whole family went to the theatre to see "The Incredibles" In case you haven't heard, this is an animated feature about a Superhero Family.
It was quite entertaining and well worth the week's pay I shelled out to see it on the big screen.
The 'gist' (pronounced: gist) of the movie is this: Mr.
Incredible was this fantastic Superguy who was quite popular.
He marries this female Superperson and 'settles down.
' Then Superheroing is outlawed and his life REALLY starts to suck.
First of all, he can't be a Superguy anymore.
He has to get a "real" job.
Then he starts putting on weight.
Then his job falls apart (especially right after he punches his boss through the wall).
Then we see him sneaking out of the house to do Superthings secretly.
I know this is going to sound crazy, but that whole part of the movie really struck a chord with me (whatever that means).
You see I believe waaaay down in my heart that I am a kind of low-level superhero.
Or at least, I was at one time.
And it's not just me, EVERY man on the planet feels this way (about himself).
Example: When a guy straps a mattress to the roof of his car, he will also stick his arm out the window to hold it down.
He truly believes that HIS ARM is somehow going to save the day if a gust of wind SNAPS the ropes he's using to hold down the mattress.
In the same way, we all get the feeling that being a Responsible Family Man has somehow DRAINED our superpowers from the core of our being.
Isn't THAT great news for our wives! "Hello my Kryptonite-laden lover! I'm slowly dying because of you-but don't let it get you down!" I guess for me it all comes down to expectations.
When I got married, I didn't expect to have every single evening taken up by family things and every single night to be interrupted by one of the children waking up.
I didn't expect that my great job wouldn't pay for all the bills we have every month.
I didn't expect that I would ever be the owner of a minivan.
I didn't expect that I would get love handles so soon.
I didn't expect those love handles to extend all the way around.
I didn't expect so much hair to grow on my back and shoulders.
(The back I don't mind so much because I don't have to see it, but the shoulders...
) I didn't expect to be so TIRED all of the time.
I bet Superman never had to deal with any of this stuff.
I was revelling in self-pity when my son asked me a question.
My Son: "Dad, what did you want to be when you grew up?" Me: "Well, I guess I wanted to be someone important.
You know, someone that people looked up to.
" My Son: "WOW! And you got your wish!! Can we wrestle now?" Maybe if I want to be a Superhero, I just have to set my sights a little lower.
About two feet lower..
There may or may not be some mush in the following column.
And, like traces of peanuts, you may or may not feel safe and comfortable with that.
I know I don't.
On Saturday, our whole family went to the theatre to see "The Incredibles" In case you haven't heard, this is an animated feature about a Superhero Family.
It was quite entertaining and well worth the week's pay I shelled out to see it on the big screen.
The 'gist' (pronounced: gist) of the movie is this: Mr.
Incredible was this fantastic Superguy who was quite popular.
He marries this female Superperson and 'settles down.
' Then Superheroing is outlawed and his life REALLY starts to suck.
First of all, he can't be a Superguy anymore.
He has to get a "real" job.
Then he starts putting on weight.
Then his job falls apart (especially right after he punches his boss through the wall).
Then we see him sneaking out of the house to do Superthings secretly.
I know this is going to sound crazy, but that whole part of the movie really struck a chord with me (whatever that means).
You see I believe waaaay down in my heart that I am a kind of low-level superhero.
Or at least, I was at one time.
And it's not just me, EVERY man on the planet feels this way (about himself).
Example: When a guy straps a mattress to the roof of his car, he will also stick his arm out the window to hold it down.
He truly believes that HIS ARM is somehow going to save the day if a gust of wind SNAPS the ropes he's using to hold down the mattress.
In the same way, we all get the feeling that being a Responsible Family Man has somehow DRAINED our superpowers from the core of our being.
Isn't THAT great news for our wives! "Hello my Kryptonite-laden lover! I'm slowly dying because of you-but don't let it get you down!" I guess for me it all comes down to expectations.
When I got married, I didn't expect to have every single evening taken up by family things and every single night to be interrupted by one of the children waking up.
I didn't expect that my great job wouldn't pay for all the bills we have every month.
I didn't expect that I would ever be the owner of a minivan.
I didn't expect that I would get love handles so soon.
I didn't expect those love handles to extend all the way around.
I didn't expect so much hair to grow on my back and shoulders.
(The back I don't mind so much because I don't have to see it, but the shoulders...
) I didn't expect to be so TIRED all of the time.
I bet Superman never had to deal with any of this stuff.
I was revelling in self-pity when my son asked me a question.
My Son: "Dad, what did you want to be when you grew up?" Me: "Well, I guess I wanted to be someone important.
You know, someone that people looked up to.
" My Son: "WOW! And you got your wish!! Can we wrestle now?" Maybe if I want to be a Superhero, I just have to set my sights a little lower.
About two feet lower..
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