You love your husband more than he loves you. Sure, he tells you that's not the case. You can feel it though. You're doing more for him than he does for you. You worry over him, you tend to his needs and you tell him constantly that you adore him. He, on the other hand, seems to live in his own self absorbed world. It's painful and you're starting to wonder whether your marriage really does hold any hope for the future. If this sounds like a script about your life, this doesn't have to be the end of your love affair with your husband. You can change the future of your marriage and you can actually get him to love you even more than you thought possible.
If you love your husband more than he loves you, you have to pull back a bit. That sounds like advice better suited to a teenage girl who feels emotionally neglected by her boyfriend, doesn't it? It works for her and it will work for you too.
Men are fundamentally the same regardless of how old they are. Their natural instinct is to want things that are just out of their reach. Once a man has a woman in his sights, he'll do whatever it takes to win her. You remember those days, don't you? When your husband (who was your boyfriend at the time) used to bring you one flower just to make you smile and would write you poetry because he knew it would take your breath away.
Once you two got married, that likely changed dramatically. You were his and he knew it. He no longer felt the drive to sweep you off your feet. Life became comfortable and his romantic tendencies got buried beneath the day-to-day grind of being a married couple.
That's why it's so powerful when you pull back a bit. That's not to say you need to move out or ignore the man. What you do need to do is immerse yourself in your own life again. Pick one thing each week that you love to do and go do it. It may be going out to a movie with a friend or having lunch with a family member. Perhaps you've wanted to start volunteering or a new job is on the horizon. You have to start doing the things that you enjoy and that bring you fulfillment. Once you do, it will change your marriage.
Your husband wants to feel as though he's with a woman who is dynamic, interesting and happy. If you start living your own life again, he'll actually pay more attention to you. Suddenly, you're not just devoting your life to him anymore. You're devoting your life to making yourself happy first and foremost. He'll respect you for that and it will make him feel as though he needs to work a bit harder to keep you happy. Suddenly, he'll not only be telling you he loves you more but he'll be showing you too.
If you love your husband more than he loves you, you have to pull back a bit. That sounds like advice better suited to a teenage girl who feels emotionally neglected by her boyfriend, doesn't it? It works for her and it will work for you too.
Men are fundamentally the same regardless of how old they are. Their natural instinct is to want things that are just out of their reach. Once a man has a woman in his sights, he'll do whatever it takes to win her. You remember those days, don't you? When your husband (who was your boyfriend at the time) used to bring you one flower just to make you smile and would write you poetry because he knew it would take your breath away.
Once you two got married, that likely changed dramatically. You were his and he knew it. He no longer felt the drive to sweep you off your feet. Life became comfortable and his romantic tendencies got buried beneath the day-to-day grind of being a married couple.
That's why it's so powerful when you pull back a bit. That's not to say you need to move out or ignore the man. What you do need to do is immerse yourself in your own life again. Pick one thing each week that you love to do and go do it. It may be going out to a movie with a friend or having lunch with a family member. Perhaps you've wanted to start volunteering or a new job is on the horizon. You have to start doing the things that you enjoy and that bring you fulfillment. Once you do, it will change your marriage.
Your husband wants to feel as though he's with a woman who is dynamic, interesting and happy. If you start living your own life again, he'll actually pay more attention to you. Suddenly, you're not just devoting your life to him anymore. You're devoting your life to making yourself happy first and foremost. He'll respect you for that and it will make him feel as though he needs to work a bit harder to keep you happy. Suddenly, he'll not only be telling you he loves you more but he'll be showing you too.
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