I will directly cut to the chase: The method on how to save my marriage that changed how I viewed relationships permanently was that: "endless self sacrifice won't bring a marriage anywhere".
I will get to what that means shortly, but I will first talk about the "applications" of that method.
Fixing a marriage, according to that method which DID save my marriage; is not always about talking to your spouse and sort out your differences, reach some kind of compromise by sacrificing and then simply getting along easily.
No - if your marriage is troubled, that brings you nowhere.
Why? Quick rundown: My husband wanted to divorce, but I wanted so save our marriage.
It was crystal clear.
Now - what would talking to him to save my marriage mean? It would mean me giving out to him every field that was important to me, and now that he had the upper hand on most of the situations, he would get back to me.
Reaching a consensus only works, and is only possible if both sides want the marriage to continue.
If one side has made up his or her mind about ending the marriage, then a "consensus" only means the other spouse begging to him or her to save the marriage and stop the divorce.
This will not work, and will even make you look pathetic and desperate.
And no one wants a desperate spouse.
What SHOULD be done is, playing the marriage (and relationship) game according to its rules.
Your spouse will love you more not when you beg to him.
He or she will love you when you are inaccessible to him.
This means just the exact opposite of begging - and it was a method with those foundations that taught me how to save my marriage, and stopped my divorce.
I will get to what that means shortly, but I will first talk about the "applications" of that method.
Fixing a marriage, according to that method which DID save my marriage; is not always about talking to your spouse and sort out your differences, reach some kind of compromise by sacrificing and then simply getting along easily.
No - if your marriage is troubled, that brings you nowhere.
Why? Quick rundown: My husband wanted to divorce, but I wanted so save our marriage.
It was crystal clear.
Now - what would talking to him to save my marriage mean? It would mean me giving out to him every field that was important to me, and now that he had the upper hand on most of the situations, he would get back to me.
Reaching a consensus only works, and is only possible if both sides want the marriage to continue.
If one side has made up his or her mind about ending the marriage, then a "consensus" only means the other spouse begging to him or her to save the marriage and stop the divorce.
This will not work, and will even make you look pathetic and desperate.
And no one wants a desperate spouse.
What SHOULD be done is, playing the marriage (and relationship) game according to its rules.
Your spouse will love you more not when you beg to him.
He or she will love you when you are inaccessible to him.
This means just the exact opposite of begging - and it was a method with those foundations that taught me how to save my marriage, and stopped my divorce.
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